


You Play My Heartbeat

by gaysadandtired



Series: NCT + WayV Collection [33]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Music, Falling In Love, Fluff, Guitarist Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun, Love Triangles, M/M, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Minor Mark Lee/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Side Ships, Strangers to Lovers, Talent Shows, Violinist Na Jaemin, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28878435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysadandtired/pseuds/gaysadandtired
Summary: When Dejun lost a game of rock-paper-scissors, he never expected to stumble upon a lone violinist playing in an empty auditorium, tugging at Dejun's heartstrings with the melodies he played.He never expected to fall in love either.
Relationships: Na Jaemin/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Series: NCT + WayV Collection [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639213
Comments: 20
Kudos: 67





	1. Nana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This was supposed to be a oneshot but then stuff happened and BAM 6 chapters and 30k words later, I'm here.
> 
> Is anybody gonna even read this obscure ship? I doubt it, but to those who are, enjoy!

Dejun could never quite escape his responsibilities, no matter how hard he tried to avoid them. He hoped that he could at least be cut some slack for at least one day when he wasn’t feeling too well – a nasty cold mixed with a horrendous stomach ache which was a remnant of what he believed to be food poisoning simply meant he was dead. However, despite his protests and whines, arguing that he was in no shape and form to go haul a bunch of music equipment not only to the complete other end of the building, but also two sets of stairs, his classmates didn’t listen. 

You lost rock, paper, scissors, dude,” Mark said as if it wasn’t obvious already. 

“I’m _sick,_ ” Dejun argued. “Don’t do this to me. Mark, please. What happened to being best bros?” 

Mark sucked in his lips, a blank look on his face before he shrugged. 

Dejun whined. “Please! I can’t haul all of this up,” he stated, pointing over at all the equipment left after practice. 

“You work out, don’t you? Use those buff muscles for something useful.” 

“Once again, Mark, I am _sick_.” 

“Have you tried being not sick?” Mark asked, slowly getting more and more on Dejun’s nerves. He had the strongest urge to strangle his friend right then and there, and since there was nobody else left in the room with them, there would be no witnesses to Dejun’s crime. “I heard that’s quite good for you.” 

“Why are you doing this to me, of all days?” 

“Well...” Mark’s eyes shifted to the side, and judging from how the corners of his ears turned red, it became obvious. 

“Seriously? What about bros before hoes?” 

“Hey, he’s a cool guy,” Mark stated. “I really want to make this work, you know?” 

Dejun rolled his eyes. 

“Dude.” 

“Don’t dude me right now, I’m currently trying to process this grade A betrayal,” Dejun said, his arms crossed over his shoulders, body slumping further down the uncomfortable plastic chair that had a tendency of making his spine hurt like an absolute bitch. “Don’t you even have the time to help me, you best friend since literal birth?” 

“Our date is in twenty minutes.” 

“Plenty of time,” Dejun assured. “Help me, please. I beg. I’ll do anything for you!” 

After a moment of consideration, Mark sighed and hung his head. “Fine.” 

“Mark I love you-” 

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” the older friend interrupted. “I’ll help you carry these up the stairs, but you’re alone with getting them to the other side of the building.” 

“I’ll cherish this small victory, I guess.” 

Mark snorted. “Get up then. I’ll grab the heavier things for now.” 

“You’re an angel.” 

“You owe me one.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” Dejun agreed as he pushed himself up from the chair, hurrying over to grab some of the equipment. He picked up a few of the music stands and flung a guitar case over his shoulder as Mark collected the other remaining items. 

“Want me to carry your guitar?” Mark asked. 

“Leave it here,” the younger replied. “I’m taking it home.” 

“Cool.” 

With that, the two hurried out of the large practice room and headed over to the staircase closest to them. Dejun was dragging behind, his knees feeling like they were made of nothing but gelatine, wobbling and giving out on the odd occasion. 

Mark took pity on him and took a few music stands from him to help out. 

“This is actually cruel,” Dejun muttered. “Why does one person have to clean up after everyone? There’s seven of us in a group, this literally isn’t fair.” 

“You never complain when you’re not the one having to clean up,” Mark pointed out. He was right, and hence Dejun just grumbled. Next time Dejun would throw paper first and be spared on the first elimination. Pretty much everyone went for rock first anyway. At least Mark did. 

“Anyway,” Dejun said, changing the topic. “Who’s this new guy? Have I met him before?” 

“Possibly, yeah,” Mark replied. “But he’s not from the music department.” 

Dejun gasped. “A cross department relationship? How scandalous! What will the school paper say about this? Have you no shame?” 

The older boy snorted, shaking his head. “Very funny.” 

“I know. I’m a true comedian. But seriously, who is he?” 

“Not telling,” Mark said. 

“Oh come on! Why?” 

“ _Because_ , I know how you’ll react when I say his name,” Mark replied, avoiding Dejun’s curious, prying gaze. 

“Yeah? And how will I react?” 

Mark chewed on his lip. “You know.” 

“I do not,” Dejun stated. “So, go on. Enlighten me on my own possible reaction, Marky dearest.” 

With a sigh, Mark rolled his eyes. “Fine. You’d probably try to skin me alive.” 

Dejun pursed his lips, eyebrows raised. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that _reaction,”_ he mused. He gave it a few seconds of thought. “Is it one of my exes, because if so then you might as well run the other way,” Dejun advised. “They’re my exes for a reason.” 

“I know that.” 

“Then is it not one of my exes?” 

Mark hummed in response. 

“Okay... then have I fucked them?” 

At that, it looked like Mark was considering his answer. 

“Oh my god! Seriously? Are we gonna be dick sisters?” 

“Dejun!” 

The younger laughed, forgetting the weight he was bearing until he nearly tripped and ended up extremely close and personal with the floor. 

“Do you have to be so vulgar?” 

“What? I’m just joking around, Marky,” Dejun assured. “So, who is it then?” 

“It’s...” Mark did mutter something but Dejun couldn’t hear it for the life of him. 

“Who?” 

“It’s...” 

“Mark I swear to god I _will_ smack you with this music stand if you-” 

“Hendery! It’s Hendery,” Mark announced. “There, you happy?” 

“Guanheng?” Dejun questioned, voice filled with utter bewilderment. “Not even Lucas but _Guanheng_?” 

“What’s wrong with him?” 

Dejun shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t mind getting railed in a room plastered with posters of anime titties then there’s nothing wrong with him,” Dejun replied. 

“I- what?” 

“You heard me right,” the younger said. “But listen, I’m not one to judge. He seems like a nice enough guy. Sure, he has a few body pillows of characters in different stages of undress but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine.” 

“What the- you know what? Whatever. I’m still gonna go on a date with him.” 

“All the power to you.” 

Finally, the two arrived at the first stair case. 

Dejun struggled to carry up everything up so Mark helped him up, making two rounds up and down to get some of the items Dejun couldn’t haul up by himself. It was a pathetic sight to witness but Dejun couldn’t care – all he could think of was how nice his bed would feel once he finally got to his room. He also craved a nice bath but he had a feeling that he’d end up falling asleep and dropping down the water, meeting his demise far earlier than he would have hoped for. 

But in the end, Dejun managed to get up the first flight of stairs, and with some more help from Mark, he made it up the second flight too. 

“Anyway, that’s gonna be it for me,” Mark announced as he checked the time on his phone. “We’re meeting at the campus café so I better hurry. Do I look okay?” 

“Sexy as always,” Dejun replied. “Now go, lover boy! Go get that dick.” 

“Shut up!” Mark called, already rushing down the stairs. 

“Love you too!” 

Alone at last. 

Wonderful. 

Dejun stared at the large pile of equipment he had to carry all the way to the other wing of the enormous music building. It would be an absolute miracle if he didn’t face plant at least once along the way. 

With a groan, Dejun picked up everything there was and tried to walk as fast as he possibly could. He was hugging everything tight to his chest and he feared that he’d end up getting impaled on at least one of the stands if he fell over. 

Luckily, that never happened. 

Sure, it took him far longer than it should have, but Dejun made it to the storage room. The one near the practice studio he and his group used was too small to hold all of the equipment, hence the unlucky souls who ended up leaving last had to go to the dreaded supply closet which had a few of the older equipment and was often used as a make out spot since nobody ever stopped by. 

In all fairness, the entirety of the old wing was more or less a ghost town; the classrooms were too small and majority needed a thorough refurbishment. Dejun questioned why the university haven’t done anything with the place, but considering the new building was big enough and it would probably cost far too much to demolish or redo the place, Dejun assumed leaving it be was the easiest thing to do. 

Out of sight out of mind. 

At least it was a fairly decent spot to hang out or hide. 

Dejun had acquainted himself with the place in his first year. He hid away in one of the classrooms when he didn’t want to go to his room or hang out with his friends. He also may or may not have – read: he has – blown one of his upperclassmen in one of the storage rooms before after things got a bit too heated between them. 

He wondered what Moon Taeil was up to these days. Considering everything, he should have graduated already. 

Time sure did fly fast. 

With a grunt, Dejun shoved everything into the supply closet – neatly, of course. He quickly closed the door once he was done, never wanting to see the dreaded equipment ever again. Or, well, until his next scheduled group practice session. 

But for today, he was done. 

Dejun checked the time on his phone. Cleaning up took him far longer than he ideally wanted it to, but since he didn’t really have any other plans, he just shrugged. Now, all he wanted to do was get back to his room and just decompose. And that’s exactly what he was off to do. 

He turned on his heel and was about to walk back from where he came from. 

Yet he stopped. 

No lessons took place in any of the classrooms, but Dejun could quite clearly hear something. 

Curious, Dejun decided to snoop around, following after the intriguing sound. As he neared the source, it became louder and Dejun was able to deduce that the sweet melody being played came from a string instrument – a violin in that instance. 

There wasn’t anyone Dejun knew who played the violin in his year, but then again, he only knew the students in his class and that was it. 

He tiptoed over to the large auditorium where the music was coming from. The sound of the instrument had grown louder and it was all Dejun could focus on. It was a familiar melody but he couldn’t for the life of him put a name to the song. It would probably end up eating him alive until he put a song title to the piece, but for now his head was at an utter blank. It probably had to do with his current sickly state. 

As he poked his head through into the room, Dejun could make out a figure. Granted, he couldn’t see much, but he did see someone stood at the front, back to the audience, illuminated solely from the light filtering through the large windows. It made all the dust flickering around in the air visible to the naked eye, but for some reason, Dejun thought it looked quite magical with the music filling the air. 

Dejun sneaked inside, careful to not get caught as he sat himself right at the back, hiding himself from the individual at the front. 

It felt like he was receiving a free concert all to himself. 

The music continued, erupting in a crescendo before becoming sombre as it reached its end, causing Dejun’s heart to first swell before it crumbled alongside the music. He felt a sense of heartache, one that stemmed from so much hope yet the knowledge that you could never be good enough. It resonated with him to the core, feeling a momentarily void inside of his chest. 

He waited for more, but it never came. 

The individual at the front rolled their neck before turning around. Dejun ducked down, eyes peeking through the gaps in the seats to watch what was happening. To his surprise, the musician was already packing up. Dejun could also make out that it was a man, a very youthful look to him. It was hard to get a proper look of him, both due to the distance between him and Dejun, put also because of the stupid cap covering the man’s hair and eyes. 

All Dejun could really make out were the man’s lips. 

Lips and a stray strand of dyed hair. 

Pink like the cherry blossoms in March. 

And that was all. 

The man packed his violin away carefully, zipping up his case – a few dangly keyrings hooped through the small hole in the zipper – before he stood back up and headed out for the other exit. 

Dejun was curious as to who he was, but there was no use wondering about it now. 

He waited a few more minutes before he too made his way out. 

*** 

“And then he asked me if I game and I was like, _yeah sure dude_ , but you know me Jun, I don’t know any games so then he asked me what I play and I kinda froze and looked around his room and said the first thing I saw which luck il y _was_ a game but then he started questioning me about it and I felt like I was dying on the spot,” Mark rambled as Dejun scribbled a few things in his notebook, mostly lyrics, though he struggled at times thanks to Mark drivelling down his ear. “So I kinda just started kissing him to hide the fact I knew nothing and one thing led to another and now I’m kinda addicted to League of Legends.” 

“Cool,” Dejun uttered unenthusiastically. “Good for you.” 

“Jun,” Mark whined, shaking his friend by the arm. “Earth to Xiao Dejun. Hello! Pay attention to me!” 

Dejun groaned, closing his notebook before turning to his friend. 

He couldn’t stay mad when he saw Mark’s stupid large eyes. How could you possibly say no to that? 

“Fine,” Dejun said. “Have my undying attention.” 

“Thanks dude, appreciated,” Mark said with a grin. “Now will you help me?” 

“Help?” 

Mark nodded. 

“With what?” 

“You know, gaming,” Mark elaborated. 

Dejun just blinked at his best friend. “Literally _what_?” 

“You heard me.” 

“Yeah but like... what happed to being addicted to the game?” 

“Just because I like it doesn’t mean I know exactly what’s going on. Plus, I kinda told Hendery I’ve been playing for like two years so...” 

“You’re such a loser,” Dejun stated. “You know that, right?” 

The older simply pouted. 

“Honestly Mark, just tell him the truth. He’ll probably find it funny or cute. It’s either a single moment of embarrassment or a whole onslaught of awkward moments later down the line.” 

“Damn... thanks.” 

“Was that sarcastic?” 

“What? No! It’s genuine,” Mark assured. “I think I’ll do that.” 

“See? Not that hard.” 

Mark hummed. 

There was a brief moment of silence before Mark once more decided to pester Dejun with something. 

“Anyway,” Mark started. “What’s good?” 

“Nothing,” Dejun deadpanned. “I’m trying to think of something for this composition but my head is empty.” 

“Happens to the best of us,” Mark said. “Don’t stress yourself over it. How about we just go grab something to drink? Maybe you’ll function better after a few beers.” 

“I highly doubt that,” Dejun argued. “But you know? Sure, I’m down for a drink.” 

“Dope! Should we ask the other guys out?” 

Dejun shrugged. “Don’t see why not,” he replied. “Sure.” 

And so, after getting changed out of his sweatpants and worn-out t-shirt that should have been thrown out ages ago, Dejun found himself at a booth with his friends, plates of food and bottles of beer on the table. 

The friend group was merely four people, but Dejun was more than happy with that. Other than Mark and Dejun there were Jeno and Donghyuck, both of the latter being a year younger than the former, and though they just started university that year, they had been Mark and Dejun’s friends since childhood. Unlike the older two though, Jeno and Donghyuck weren’t from the same department. Granted, Donghyuck was a theatre student so there was some overlap, but Jeno was in a completely different boat, studying physiotherapy. 

Dejun sure did admire Jeno for that. 

“I probably shouldn’t drink too much,” Jeno said as he placed the beer bottle to his lips. “I’ll keep to one. I have plenty of work to do still.” 

“Sucks,” Donghyuck said with apathy. “I’m down to get wasted. I’ve got fuck all to worry about.” 

“You can start with your liver,” Jeno mused mid sip. 

Though the two youngest had a tendency to bicker, it was never as severe as when Donghyuck and Mark went at it. When that happened, Jeno swapped seats so that he could escape being trapped between the two men who were more or less at each other’s throats. Of course, they never intended to outright _kill_ each other, sometimes it just seemed like that was the case. 

Once you could look past your worry and fear, it was actually quite entertaining to watch. At least that’s what Dejun thought. Others might have been concerned, but he knew better than that. 

“They’re a mess,” Dejun mused, looking over at Jeno who despite everything was smiling warmly. It wasn’t exactly the _wow my two friends are hilarious_ kind of smile but more of a _I’m daydreaming about something sweet and I’m no longer on this physical mortal realm_ kind. “Jeno?” 

“Huh?” The younger man said, confused as he snapped back out of whatever he was thinking about. 

Dejun chuckled. “You good? Where did you drift off to?” He asked, tapping a finger against Jeno’s temple. 

“Oh... just zoned out,” Jeno stated, scratching the back of his neck, eyes shifting away from Dejun. “What did you say?” 

“That they’re a mess.” 

Jeno snorted, looking back at the two. “Yeah,” he said quite softly. “They are.” 

*** 

Dejun didn’t think about the mysterious violin man since he last saw him. 

However, as he approached the dreaded storage room because _yes_ , his group was once more the last to leave and _yes_ , he lost rock paper scissors yet again, he was reminded of the musician. He wouldn’t have thought about the man if it weren't for the fact he could once more hear a sweet melody pouring out from the large lecture hall. 

Since he had no other places to be, Dejun decided that there wasn’t anything stopping him from taking a look inside. 

Just like last time, Dejun sneaked inside, sitting himself right at the back to not disturb and startle the stranger. He simply enjoyed the show, keeping quiet, practically blending in with the surroundings. 

The stranger was turned so that his back would face the audience, light streaking in through the windows, casting long shadows across the floor as the slim figure continued playing at the heartstrings of an invisible assembly. Watching him perform, the movements of his bow, which seemed as if it was simply an extension of his arm, were smooth and fluid, hypnotising Dejun in the process. 

He watched intently, body leaning forward, chin and folded arms resting on the back rest of the seat in front of him. 

It was always a pleasure watching someone be so in their element. Even in his class and within his group it wasn’t something you would get to see every day. Sometimes seeing others play became boring, without pure, burning passion. Multiple rehearsals had the tendency to suck out the joy one felt when they performed a piece; Dejun thought that was a shame, but it was unavoidable – after all, even he has fallen a victim of wishing a performance to be over the minute he started playing. Such was life. 

So, he enjoyed watching the stranger pour his heart out over his four strings. It definitely was a touching thing to experience. 

Dejun still wasn’t able to put his name to the previous song which the man had played, however, he recognised this one quite early on. 

Lonely. 

“Baby, I'm so lonely, so lonely,” Dejun sang along softly, making sure his voice was merely a whisper. 

Dejun could feel everything through the notes the stranger played. 

It made him curious as to how the man looked in the moment; would his expression give off these strong emotions, or would he simply look like he was just reciting the song from muscle memory. Dejun hoped for the former. There was no way you could play like that and not inherently experience the feeling seeping out from within each note. 

Dejun admired the performance until the very end. He had the strongest urge to applaud the man up front but he stopped himself, laying low so that the stranger wouldn’t catch a glimpse of him. 

The violinist turned around, and this time there wasn’t a hat to obstruct his face. 

Still, Dejun couldn’t exactly see him in high definition, unfortunately finding himself sat too far away. However, he did get a decent look. 

The stranger was undeniably handsome. There really wasn’t much to add to that. 

He bent down, rummaging through his violin case before pulling out a small pouch. He carefully put his instrument down in the case before reaching inside the small pouch, a cartoon character’s face printed on the item, and pulling out a small block of rosin. 

As a silence filled the hall, Dejun sat back. He did decide to ponder on who the man which he had seen perform twice now was. If he was a student, wouldn’t he want to use one of the countless practice rooms? Sure, sometimes booking them was a hassle, but at least they didn’t resemble a ghost town which each surface coated in dust. Or maybe the stranger just liked the atmosphere. All the power to him if that was the case. 

“For fucks sake!” 

Dejun jumped at that, his stomach dropping at the exclamation. Granted, it wasn’t loud, but it was a shock considering how quiet the place had gotten. 

He looked over at what was happening, seeing the man sat on his knees with the bow in his grasp. 

The stranger’s bow had a few loose hairs from the look of things which Dejun wasn’t sure if it was a problem or not, but it didn’t actually seem that was the issue at hand. Instead, his eyes were locked with the screen of his phone. 

Quickly, the man put his things away, grabbing the coat which was discarded to the side before he rushed out. 

Well, that was it for today’s performance. 

*** 

“You sure were excited to help me out,” Kun mused, music equipment in his hold. “What’s this about? You want me to buy you food or something?” 

Dejun laughed, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t extort you like that,” he assured. “I just wanted to help. No ulterior motives.” 

That was half true. 

Dejun didn’t want anything from his upperclassmen, however he did want to go up to the old wing to see if he could catch the mysterious violin player again. It would have been awkward if he just went up there for no reason. Plus, it allowed him to talk to Kun some more. 

Kun wasn’t in Dejun’s year, nor did he really hang out with Dejun that much, though the older was always happy to have Dejun come over to his place whenever he wanted to. Most of the time, Dejun wanted to go over but he refrained himself from it, not really wanting to bother his upperclassman with his presence when he probably had a lot on his plate. 

The older man did also occasionally join in on group practice though, offering some of his wisdom here and there. It was greatly appreciated, and Kun was a definitely pleasure to be around too. 

“Well aren’t you an angel,” Kun mused, a smile on his lips. 

“I sure am,” Dejun agreed with a grin. 

The two climbed up the first flight of stairs when Dejun decided to ask Kun a question. 

“Do you know anyone who plays the violin?” 

“Why? Are you thinking of including one in your composition?” 

“Just curious,” Dejun replied with a shrug. “Just thought you’d know someone.” 

“Well... I know a few people in my year,” Kun stated. “If you want, I can ask them to help you.” 

“No, it’s fine,” Dejun assured. 

“If you say so.” 

There was yet another instance of silence as they hauled the equipment up the second set of stairs. 

“Do any of them have pink hair?” Dejun asked, glancing over at Kun. 

“Pink hair?” 

Dejun hummed. 

“Well... I can’t say they do,” Kun replied. “Why?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just... curious.” 

“Odd thing to be curious about if you ask me.” 

“True,” the younger admitted. “Maybe- maybe I’m curious for another reason.” 

“I’m all ears.” 

Dejun exhaled. “So there’s this guy-” 

“What a shocker,” Kun said, laughing afterwards. “But continue.” 

“As I was saying,” Dejun resumed. “There’s this guy. I don’t know who he is, not even his name or anything. But I’ve heard him play the violin twice now and he’s... really good.” 

“So you asked me?” 

The younger man nodded. 

“I can’t say I know a pink haired violinist, sorry.” 

“It is what it is,” Dejun muttered with a shrug of the shoulders. “He’s really good though, but I’ve never really seen him around.” 

“Probably new,” Kun suggested. “Maybe he’s not even from the music department. After all, the practice rooms are for all students to use, it’s just that we’re the ones that get to book the rooms for free.” 

“Possibly,” the younger mused. He hadn’t thought about that before. From the way the stranger played, it only seemed appropriate to assume he was a music student. “He played like a pro so I just thought, you know?” 

“I know,” Kun replied. “I mean, Doyoung is a great singer and plays the piano well, but it doesn’t mean he has to study music. Sometimes people just prefer music as a hobby.” 

“True.” 

The two had approached the storage room. Dejun pulled the doors open as Kun started to carefully put everything away before Dejun joined in. 

After all was done, Kun sighed. “Well, thanks for that,” he said. 

“No worries.” 

“If you say so. Are you hungry?” 

“Oh- you don’t have to.” 

“It’s fine,” Kun reassured. “Taeyong and I were supposed to be going on a date but Mark invited himself, and you know Taeyong can’t say no to his brother so... the more the merrier.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Absolutely.” 

Dejun glanced behind himself, looking further down the long corridor to where the strange violinist should be at this hour. He considered saying no just to see him play, but then again, he wasn’t running off anywhere. 

He looked back to Kun, grinning. “Sure,” he replied. “I’d like that a lot. Thank you.” 

***

Dejun ended up stopping by the old hall a few more times, leading his friend and groupmates to wonder why he was so enthusiastic to go carry up the music equipment all by himself. The man just said it was because he found it therapeutic after a long day which was an obvious lie but nobody had to know that. To be honest, Dejun doubted anyone bought the excuse but they didn’t question him any further so he really didn’t care. 

And so, Dejun found himself in the audience time after time after time. 

He considered himself the stranger’s number one fan. Maybe it was weird, but he was in a way the highlight of Dejun’s day; he loved stopping by to sit back and relax as someone who clearly had a lot of love for what he was doing play. 

Dejun was able to let himself slip away and be taken on an emotional roller-coaster conducted by the man and his elegant instrument. 

It was actually quite amazing how, despite the number of times Dejun had watched the man, he still hasn’t gone up and talked to the stranger. It was also amazing how Dejun hadn’t been spotted yet. There were times where he thought that maybe the violinist did see him across the sea of empty seats, however nothing ever came of it. Mostly it just seemed as if the stranger was just looking around, taking a scope of his surroundings and nothing else. 

Currently, the stranger was playing a sombre tune – quite fitting for the time of year. 

Dejun was enjoying himself from the back as always. 

He wasn’t really thinking about anything, simply _feeling_. 

And then his phone rang. 

Never had he panicked as much as he did in that very moment. 

Hastily, Dejun reached for his phone to silence it, however it was already too late; the man at the front had heard the device go off. The music had stopped and the stranger was staring right up at Dejun up in the audience, eyes wide and body stiff. 

Dejun felt awkward. Also, somewhat sorry. After all, he had just interrupted the man. 

Just like that, the stranger was packing up at the speed of light. He put his instrument away, slipped into his padded coat and grabbed his backpack. He had trouble zipping up his violin case, eyes shifting up from the item and the other man. 

Dejun tried to reach out to him, rushing down the aisle to get to him before he managed to get away. 

“Hey! Sorry! Stop, please!” Dejun called out, however it was futile. 

Despite his struggled, the strange had managed to zip up his case. As soon as he succeeded, he was off like the one. 

Dejun did try to run after him, but it would have been a lost cause anyway. The stranger was too far away from him, getting quite the head start. 

Admitting defeat, Dejun sighed as he reached the spot the man had been playing on. 

As he looked down, he did notice something strange on the floor. It was colourful, resembling a handmade bracelet of sorts. 

He decided to pick the item up, finding that it was indeed a bracelet. It must have slipped off the man’s wrist as he was in a rush to leave. 

There were a few small beads on the thin, pink string. Four of those were letters. 

“ _Nana_ ,” Dejun read on the small beads, the letters varying in colours. “Nana,” he repeated, the bracelet carefully laid in the centre of his palm. With a glance at the exit, Dejun pocketed the delicate accessory, keeping a note to have it on him constantly to give back to the stranger – to Nana. 

If that was his name, after all. 

*** 

Despite his best efforts, Dejun didn’t get to see Nana again. 

He tried, of course, yet it was to no avail. 

Dejun stopped by the same hall he had spotted Nana in all those times before; however, he was never there. It honestly felt disappointing, and Dejun had to admit that the auditorium felt far more haunted than it had ever seemed before. When there was no music playing right from Nana’s heart, the whole place felt so cold and barren. The sunlight didn’t come through the windows as it had done before. The dust felt suffocating, as staring out to the front felt wrong. 

Honestly, Dejun was in a bad mood thanks to the disappearance of his favourite mysterious violin man Nana. 

Even his friends noticed he wasn’t the same as usual. 

“Dude,” Mark called. “You good?” 

Dejun shrugged. 

“Damn... what’s gotten you so down?” 

Of course, Dejun hadn’t gone into any detail whatsoever about Nana. He didn’t think it was important, nor did he really believe that it would be worth it. Dejun himself wasn’t entirely sure why he was so down. Sure, he missed getting a private show and listening to such pure, unfiltered, raw emotions which seeped through each note Nana played for himself when he thought there was nobody else around. 

Dejun probably scared him off, and that sucked ass. 

“Life?” Dejun replied, not wanting to get into it. 

“I get it,” Mark reassured, placing a comforting hand on Dejun’s shoulder. “I mean... if you wanna unwind, Hendery’s throwing a party at his place – well, not really a party but a small gathering. There’ll be drinks and food and a chill atmosphere. Wanna tag along?” 

“And have to look in the eyes of my previous fuck buddy for a whole night? No.” 

“Junnie,” Mark whined. “Come on, it won’t be that bad! It’ll be fun, I promise. If not, I’ll owe you one.” 

Dejun glanced over at Mark from the corner of his eyes. He considered. 

In all fairness, he really was in need of a good night off. Plus, he would never turn down free food and drink. 

With an exhale, Dejun nodded. “Sure. I’ll join you.” 

“Dope! Friday at six, I’ll pick you up.” 

“I can get there myself,” Dejun pointed out. 

“And if you get there before me?” 

“I-” Dejun paused, his finger up. “Good point. We’ll go together.” 

*** 

“We meet again,” Hendery said with a grin. 

“We sure do,” Dejun uttered. Though Hendery clearly was completely fine with everything, Dejun’s presence included, the same couldn’t quite be said regarding Dejun. 

No matter how hard he tried to push the thoughts and imaged away, all he could think and picture when he looked at Hendery and heard his voice was how he would ram right into Dejun’s ass and moan in his ear, and it was _hot_ but he really didn’t need to remember everything. He definitely didn’t need to be reminded of all the cartoon character eyes staring at him as he was getting his back blown out. But to each their own. 

At least Mark seemed happy. 

But all pleasantries and awkwardness aside, Dejun made his way inside. 

There were a few people already there, most sat on the sofa or floor, each minding their own business as low music played through the speakers. 

“There’s a few first years and upperclassmen with assignments due so we’re keeping it down,” Hendery explained. “This is just a friendly get together, nothing grand. Probably gonna watch a movie later on if you guys are down.” 

“We’re down,” Mark announced, already finding himself attached to Hendery’s side. 

If Dejun wasn’t happy that his best friend finally found someone, he would have probably gagged. 

And he did do that, but on the inside. 

The pair settled in soon enough, sharing a bowl of crisps and pretzels which they swallowed down with beer. Mark was sat on Hendery’s lap to assure that they all could fit on the couch. 

Dejun didn’t have the heart to tell his friend that there was plenty of room for him to sit normally. He let Mark enjoy himself. 

“You seeing anyone?” Hendery asked, biting down on the pretzel offered to him by Mark. His arm was wrapped around Mark’s waist, keeping him in place, his fingertips dipping beneath the fabric of the man’s hoodie to stroke over the smooth skin underneath the fabric. 

“No,” Dejun replied. 

“Fucking anyone, then?” 

“Also no,” Dejun replied, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Damn, that’s a surprise.” 

Dejun snorted, nodding. “Yeah, it is,” he agreed. “Three months already and no men in sight. A personal record if I do say so myself.” 

“Congrats.” 

“Thanks,” Dejun muttered, taking yet another swig of his drink. He leaned against the couch, eyes staring out to the TV. 

He was bored. 

There was only so much he could go on in the presence of all these random people, and there was definitely a limit as to how much longer he could last without doing something stupid around Hendery. Sure, he was a good guy, but there was only so much he could handle. 

Maybe he would end up bringing his three-month drought to an end tonight. He could possibly chat up one of the guys around. Surely, one of them had to be into guys too. 

He just had to play his cards right. 

“How are the new guys doing?” Mark asked. “Hope you haven’t scared them too much.” 

Hendery laughed. “They’re fine,” he stated. “Quite cool actually. There’s one in the same course as me which is fun. Most are partying other than like two. I kinda feel bad for one of them, he seems kinda down. I think he lost something.” 

“That sucks,” Dejun mused, not entirely paying attention. 

“Honestly though, when he realised, he seemed so down,” Hendery recounted, a frown finding its way onto his expression. “I helped him look around but we still couldn’t find it. So like, if you find a random bracelet around, let me know.” 

At that, Dejun perked up. 

Surely, it wouldn’t be the same bracelet that he found at the auditorium. Surely, he couldn’t have possibly lucked out this much? 

“A bracelet?” Dejun questioned. 

“Yup,” Hendery replied. “Jaemin is quite attached to it.” 

“Jaemin?” 

Hendery nodded. 

Jaemin. How could you come up with _Nana_ from that name? The more he thought about it, the more he wrote it off as a simple coincidence. This Jaemin probably wasn’t the elusive Nana that Dejun was after. 

Shame, really. 

The gathering continued as normal, and after maybe another twenty minutes, Dejun asked if he could get something to drink that wasn’t just alcohol. The accommodations looked pretty much the same everywhere so he didn’t need any help finding his way around the small kitchen. 

Dejun grabbed himself a glass from the overhead cupboard and filled it up with tap water. 

He took a few small sips, hanging around to catch a break from everyone else – especially his best friend and his boyfriend. They were cute and flirty but there was only so much he could take. 

So, Dejun looked around. There were a few things scattered around; there were some dishes in the sink and on the drying rack; someone had forgotten about a coffee they made, leaving a full mug of it to go cold for lord knows how many hours. The fridge had a bunch of stickers and flyers plastered over it, some being the obvious fire safety label, but there was also a list of names and phone numbers. Hendery was one of them. 

There was also the Jaemin that was mentioned before. 

Na Jaemin. 

Dejun hummed, leaning against the counter to drink his water slowly. He wasn’t in a rush. 

From the common living room, Dejun could hear Hendery calling out cheerfully. “Jaemin! My man, you good?” 

The man in question must have replied since Hendery continued on. 

“Mind bringing back a bag of chips from the kitchen? Thanks bro.” 

Just like that, Dejun wasn’t the only one in the kitchen. He didn’t pay Jaemin any mind until he found himself in Dejun’s line of vision. 

And then he couldn’t stop staring. 

Dyed hair, a slender yet fit build, tall. 

And his face... just like the glimpses Dejun got of his mysterious violinist a few times. 

It was him. 

“Nana?” Dejun asked before thinking. 

Jaemin froze, turning over to look at Dejun. “What?” 

Embarrassed, Dejun looked down, biting down on the inside of his cheek. Great. What a way to make a fool out of himself. 

“Did you call me nana?” Jaemin asked. 

Dejun nodded. 

At that, Jaemin directed his full attention to Dejun. His arms were folded over his chest. “How do you know that?” 

“So it’s you! You’re nana?” 

“Only to friends and family,” Jaemin replied. “Which leads me to ask again, how do you know that?” 

“Oh... it’s umm... kind of a funny story really,” Dejun stated, rubbing the back of his neck as his eyes kept shifting from Jaemin to the floor. “You see, I found your bracelet.” 

“You did?” Jaemin asked, his eyes lighting up at the news. “Where?” 

“That’s where the funny part comes in,” Dejun explained. “I found it at the auditorium. You know... the one you play the violin at?” 

Connecting the dots, Jaemin stepped back. “You’re the weirdo that was watching me back then?” 

“Hey, let’s not go as far as to call me a weirdo,” Dejun said in his defence. “Just because I’ve stopped by a few times doesn’t mean I’m a-” 

“A _few_?” 

Oops. 

“You’ve watched me on multiple occasions? Oh my god, are you a stalker? Should I call the p-” 

“No need!” Dejun interrupted. “I’m not a stalker, okay? I just... heard you one time, got curious and decided to watch. You’re really good, you know? I like hearing you play.” 

Jaemin seemed sceptical. 

Dejun sighed. “I really am not a _creep_ , okay? You just barely see people play with as much emotions as you do these days. It’s refreshing to see.” 

The violinist didn’t say anything, only staring at Dejun. 

“Okay, I expected that,” Dejun uttered. “Look, I know it probably seems bad that I’ve been just watching you play, and I really am sorry. But like... if I let you know I was there; would you have continued to play?” 

“No,” Jaemin replied bluntly. 

“See? I didn’t wanna disrupt you. And I feel really, really sorry about it.” 

Jaemin raised his brows, head tilted to the side. 

“You’re not in the music department, are you?” 

“No. I’m a med student.” 

“Oh, damn. I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“I wasn’t expecting to get stalked in my first year, yet here we are.” 

“Again, I’m not a stalker. Just an avid enthusiast of your performances.” 

“Practices,” Jaemin corrected. “I don’t perform. For anyone, _especially_ for some random dude like you. Now can I get my bracelet back?” 

“Oh! Right! It should be in my coat,” Dejun said. “Just wait a minute.” 

With that, Dejun rushed over to the coat hanger at the front door. He searched for his own coat, rummaging through the pockets to find the item he had kept on himself since he found it. 

After searching around for a minute, Dejun finally found it. He pulled it out and carried it back to the kitchen where Jaemin was waiting for him to return. 

“Here you go,” he said, handing the item over. “I kept it safe.” 

Jaemin took the bracelet, promptly slipping it on his wrist. He tightened the string which must have become undone when he was about to run off. “Thanks,” he said. 

“Did you make it?” 

“No.” 

Well, Jaemin wasn’t one for long answers as Dejun noticed. 

“Did you make it?” 

“No.” 

“A friend-” 

“Does it really matter?” 

“Ah- no, not really,” Dejun answered. “Sorry. I guess I’m- sorry, about watching you and all that.” 

Jaemin started at Dejun as the man hung his head in a mixture of shame and remorse. He sighed. 

“My brother,” Jaemin said. “My brother made the bracelet for me.” 

“Oh. That’s cute.” 

“Yeah,” Jaemin agreed. “By the way, what’s your name, _stalker_?” 

Dejun snorted. “Dejun. Xiao Dejun.” 

Jaemin hummed with a faint nod. “Na Jaemin.” 

“Nice to finally get to meet you properly.” 

“I bet it is.” 

“It is,” Dejun confirmed. “So... how come you play the violin in the shadiest place in the music building?” 

Jaemin shrugged, leaning against the counter, mimicking Dejun’s position. “It’s easier than booking a room, I guess. Plus I like it there; it’s isolated, calm, has a nice abandoned feel. The place has its history.” 

“Multiple layers of it,” Dejun added. “The dust in that place... yikes.” 

“Let’s say it’s atmospheric. You know?” 

“I do,” Dejun replied. “When the sunlight hits, it does looks kind of magical.” 

Jaemin smiled, clearly agreeing. 

“You know... you can keep going there to practice. I know you haven’t stopped by – at least when I checked. If it’s because of me then I’m sorry. I won’t disturb you again.” 

“It’s... fine,” Jaemin stated. “I’ve been revising for my midterms. That’s why I didn’t stop by.” 

“So it’s not because of me?” 

“Oh, it is,” Jaemin replied hastily. “But I also have other things going on in my life. Plus, I’ve ran out of rosin anyway.” 

“I’ll get you some,” Dejun promised. “As an apology.” 

“If you insist,” Jaemin said with a shrug of the shoulders. “Text me when you get it,” he said, pointing over to the note on the fridge. His number was written out beside his name. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

Jaemin grabbed two bags of snacks and walked out. He threw one at Hendery, taking the other one for himself as he disappeared into his room. 

So that was Nana. 

Dejun really wasn’t expecting that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong)  
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> 


	2. A Deal

Even though he knew that he shouldn’t spend so much time thinking about Jaemin, that was exactly what Dejun did. It wasn’t that he was thinking about Jaemin in a way that was anything more than filled with sheer fascination. 

Na Jaemin, a med student, was the one who played the violin like each note was an extension of his soul, his deep-seated emotions which had found a medium to let themselves be known to the world. Jaemin wasn’t the type of person Dejun expected to play like that – he didn’t even expect a person like Jaemin to even play in the first place. He wasn’t the type Dejun would have ever pictured up on the stage with the instrument. Yet alas, there he was. 

Dejun was sure that Jaemin could go far if he ever did decide to play professionally, so he was somewhat puzzled as to why the man pursued an education in medicine instead. 

Sure, Kun was right about professions and hobbies not having to be the same, but it just didn’t feel right to Dejun. The Jaemin he saw perform in an empty auditorium belonged on a stage, not in an operating room. 

But who was Dejun to decide what was right and wrong? 

Still, Dejun found himself thinking about Jaemin more often than not. And that statement was true even as he was sat with his friends, waiting for the movie they came to watch to finally start. Hendery also decided to tag along which was _fine_ , however there was a lingering feeling of... well, something being off. Dejun felt like he was being a third wheel despite Jeno and Donghyuck also being there. 

He felt odd, so instead of wondering why that was the case, Dejun focused on his phone. He had Jaemin’s phone number saved though he still hadn’t said anything to him. 

Now was the perfect opportunity. 

**Na Jaemin**

Sup, it’s me, Dejun 

The dude who gave you your bracelet back 

Also the guy that you think is your stalker 

Which I’m not 

I promise 

Well, look who finally decided to text me 

Is this about the rosin you promised to buy me? 

It’s been like a week 

Oh yeah, that 

Should arrive by Monday 

Wanna meet up so I can give it to you? 

Sure 

I’m free on Tuesdays so if it arrives by then we can meet then 

Or the weekend 

Either is fine 

Cool! 

I’ll let you know then 

Okay 

Is that everything? 

I guess 

Unless you’re okay with chatting for a bit 

I’m waiting for the movie to play and I’m kinda feeling like a third wheel right now 

Tragic 

I know :/ 

The thing is, it’s not even because my best friend is now seeing the dude I used to umm 

“See” 

If you catch my drift 

That’s... 

? 

Odd situation to be in 

I don’t really mind 

He’s a good guy 

But my other two friends are like... 

I mean, you won’t even know them but it feels like they’re on a date too and I’m the unwanted one here 

Which is ridiculous because Jeno and Donghyuck aren’t together 

But still 

Wait 

Jeno as in Lee Jeno? 

In physiotherapy? 

Yeah, that Jeno 

You’re friends with him? 

Aren’t you older? 

By a year 

But we’ve been friends for years 

Our entire group 

Why? You know him? 

We share a module 

How fun! 

Well then, if you ever wanna join us I’m sure he wouldn’t mind 

I won’t mind 

And I’m sure the other two won’t either 

Really!? 

I mean 

You sure? 

Totally 

Oh! 

The movie is gonna start! 

I’ll talk later 

Hope we can meet on Tuesday 

Yeah 

Hope so too 

“Who are you chatting up?” Jeno asked, leaning over to check Dejun’s phone screen. 

“Oh, I guess you could say a new acquaintance,” Dejun replied. “You might know him. You apparently have a module together.” 

That spiked Jeno’s interest. “What’s their name?” 

“Na Jaemin.” 

The younger furrowed his brow, trying to think if he knew Jaemin. 

“He has pink hair,” Dejun added to help his friend. 

That did the trick. 

“Oh, I know him then,” Jeno stated. “Seems cool. I’ve only talked to him like two times, but he’s nice. How’d you know him?” 

Dejun shrugged. “We just bumped into each other. That’s all.” 

The movie started soon thereafter. 

*** 

Dejun and Jaemin did meet on Tuesday. At first, Dejun doubted it would happen as the package with the ordered rosin was taking far too long for his liking to arrive. However, in the end, it found its way to Dejun by Monday. 

The two were meeting up at the campus café after Dejun finished one of his early morning lectures. He hated those with a passion, but he also couldn’t miss them no matter how much he wanted to. They were boring but he managed to go through them, even if he practically yawned through the full two hours. 

As he waited for Jaemin to join him, Dejun went through two coffees to bring him to an acceptable, presentable state. He was in a bit of a rush to leave in the morning, snoozing his alarm one too many times which meant he didn’t have the time he usually needed to get himself ready. He looked a bit of a mess, missing his morning moisturising routine and hair styling. Luckily, it was nothing a face mask and a beanie couldn’t hide from the world. 

Now on his third coffee, Dejun was beginning to worry Jaemin might have stood him up. It was already ten minutes since their agreed meeting time and Dejun wondered if this was some form of revenge from Jaemin’s side for creeping on him all those times he played. 

He was about to open up their chat. That was, until he heard the small bell above the front doors of the café chime, announcing a new customer. 

Said customer was Jaemin. 

The younger looked somewhat dishevelled, his light hair blown in each way from the wind. At least he still looked better than Dejun – less dead. 

Finding Dejun in the café, Jaemin rushed over. 

“Sorry,” he apologised. “I lost track of the time.” 

“It’s fine,” Dejun assured, offering the younger a smile as he shimmied out of his coat, throwing it over the back of his chair before sitting down. “Want a drink?” 

“I- yeah, thanks.” 

“What would you like?” 

“Iced Americano with four extra shots.” 

“F-four?” 

Jaemin nodded, not caring about Dejun’s shocked reaction. 

“Oh, okay then.” Dejun pushed himself up and headed over to order Jaemin’s drink. Not only was he going for something cold, he also was about to ingest far more caffeine than the human body should take in. But Dejun wasn’t one to judge. 

He ordered the drink for Jaemin and waited around for two minutes until he was done. 

“There you go,” Dejun said, placing down the cup in front of the younger. “Iced Americano with enough shots to tranquilize a horse.” 

“Just how I like it.” 

Dejun snorted, sitting back down in his seat. 

Jaemin took a large sip of his drink, sighing once it went down his throat. “Just what I needed,” he muttered. 

“Have you been up long?” 

“Nah, I practically just woke up. It’s my free day.” 

“Must be nice.” 

“It is when you’re in this field.” 

The older gave an acknowledging hum. Jaemin probably had a packed schedule and Dejun was by no means jealous. There was only so much academics his mind could take. 

“Anyway,” Dejun uttered, reaching down to rummage through his bag. He pulled out a package, sliding it down across the small table. “Here’s your gift. I don’t know if you have a preferred brand or anything, but Kun suggested this one.” 

“Kun?” Jaemin asked, bringing the small box closer to himself. 

“An upperclassman of mine,” Dejun explained. “He’s like, the best at music. Seriously.” 

“I’ll take your word for it, I guess. And thanks.” 

Dejun shrugged. “Well, I hope that means I’m forgiven.” 

“For creeping on me?” 

“Yeah. Hope this balances it all out.” 

Jaemin looked Dejun down, leaning back in his seat, arms folded over his chest. There was a moment in which Dejun could have sworn he noticed something flicker behind Jaemin’s eyes – something sly, mischievous even. Dejun couldn’t put a name to it, but he knew that Jaemin wanted something from him. But what did he want? That was unclear for now. 

“How many times have you watched me play?” Jaemin asked. 

“Well...” Dejun muttered, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought how to not come off like an absolute weirdo. “Maybe like... a dozen times?” 

The younger blinked. And then, dryly, he uttered a single _wow_. 

“Listen-” 

“I’ve heard enough, _stalker_ ,” Jaemin interrupted, making sure to make the label stand out very clearly. “A simple offering of rosin and coffee isn’t going to make up for how you’ve violated my privacy. You’re gonna have to try harder than that.” 

“Jaemin,” Dejun whined. “I’m really sorry about that. But, I’m a broke uni student; this is the best I can give.” 

“Tough,” Jaemin replied. 

“What else do you want then?” 

Dejun saw the same look from Jaemin as he did a few moments before. 

Jaemin clearly had something in mind. 

“Well, I want-” Jaemin was just about to make his desires known when someone called out Dejun’s name, catching both men off-guard. 

Dejun looked around, confused until his eyes landed on a familiar face. “Jeno,” he said, greeting his friend who had walked up to the table, a take-out flask in his grasp. “You good?” 

“Perfect,” the younger replied. “Well, okay, I guess. I was supposed to meet up with Sunwoo from my study group but he cancelled like two minutes ago.” 

“That sucks,” Dejun stated. 

“Yeah, sure does.” Jeno smiled softly, not really showing any disappointment at the sudden turn of events. He then, however, looked over to the other seat at the table which was occupied by Jaemin. His brows cocked at the sight. “Oh, hi,” he said with a polite wave. “You’re... Jaemin, right? We have a unit together.” 

Jaemin looked frozen, almost stunned by Jeno talking to him. He became smaller than before, practically folding in on himself as he nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, the sound coming out weak. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah. We do.” 

Dejun had a moment of clarity. 

Well, this sure was interesting to say the least. 

“Cool. Jun mentioned you two were talking,” Jeno continued. “Are you guys friends?” 

“You could say,” Dejun replied, glancing at Jaemin, a slight smirk playing on his lips. “You wanna join us? We won’t mind.” 

“Seriously?” Jeno questioned. “I don’t wanna interrupt.” 

“It’s fine,” the eldest of the trio assured. “Grab a chair and come over.” 

With a bright smile – the one that everyone around Jeno adored, from his friends and family to random old ladies at the convenience store who found the boy _so charming and handsome_ – Jeno nodded, putting his flask down on the table before going to grab a seat for himself. 

In the meantime, Dejun had something to say to Jaemin. 

“You like him,” he said. It wasn’t a question but a solid declaration. 

“W-what? No, I don’t! I mean- yeah, but not like that!” 

“I’m not buying that,” Dejun stated. “Don’t worry, I won’t judge if you do. After all, Jeno is quite the catch if I do say so myself. He’s single, you know? You can try shooting your shot.” 

“I-” 

Before Jaemin was able to say anything, Jeno returned, hauling a chair with him. He sat himself down in between the two, a soft smile still present on his face. 

“What did I miss? Shooting what shot?” Jeno asked, trying to find his way in the conversation. 

“Jaemin was just asking if he should dye his hair a different colour,” Dejun replied. 

Jeno _ah_ -ed at that. 

“I think he looks pretty with the pink,” the oldest continued. “Don’t you think so?” 

Jeno turned to Jaemin, more or less checking the man out, causing Jaemin to tense up as the tips of his ears turned red in embarrassment. 

“Yeah, I think so too,” Jeno agreed. “The pink suits you.” 

“A- thank you,” Jaemin said. 

“I think blue would look nice on you too,” Jeno added, shooting the other first year a friendly grin. 

Dejun pictured Jaemin getting K.O-ed in that moment. 

“Speaking of hair dye,” Jeno resumed. “Donghyuck is trying to get me to dye my hair too. He said that he can’t be the only one suffering after his botched attempt.” 

“He looks fine though,” Dejun stated. 

“He keeps saying he looks like a grape.” 

“Well, he does,” the older admitted. “But it’s not terrible. Honestly, the colour isn’t as bad. It’ll look better when it washes out.” 

“Donghyuck?” Jaemin asked. 

“Oh, right! Sorry,” Jeno apologised. “He’s a friend. You probably don’t know him. He’s- he’s great though. You’d probably like him- speaking of! How about you join us on the weekend? We’re going out to unwind at the arcade. There’ll be food and drinks too!” 

“I-” 

“He’d love to,” Dejun replied, noticing Jaemin’s struggle to form a coherent sentence. “Isn’t that right?” 

“I- yeah, sure,” Jaemin replied. 

“Well then, with that sorted, I better get going,” Dejun announced all of a sudden, getting up from his chair. “I promised I’d meet up with Kun,” he said which was technically a lie, but there was nothing stopping him from barging into Kun’s place and demanding attention. Sure, he didn’t want to interrupt Kun, especially considering the last time he came unannounced, Dejun witnessed things he definitely shouldn’t have seen, but he always could stop by for a minute. 

“Already?” Jeno asked. 

“Yeah. But don’t let that stop you two,” Dejun said, giving a pat on Jeno’s shoulder. “See ya! Oh, and Jaemin? I’ll text you later.” 

*** 

Dejun wasn’t exactly expecting his phone to start going off in the evening. Mark did have a tendency to spam Dejun with a bunch of messages, but he usually kept that for a later hour. 

Tossing his notebook aside, knowing there was no use to keep scribbling down ideas when his mind was pretty much blank, Dejun grabbed his phone and checked who was texting him. 

To his surprise, it was none other than Jaemin. 

**Na Jaemin**

Dejun! 

You! 

You said you’d text me later! 

It’s later already!! 

What was that at the café!? 

Why did you leave like that? 

ANSWER ME!!! 

Well good evening to you too 

How may I assist you at this fine hour? 

YOU! 

Yes 

Hi 

Why did you do that!? 

At the café 

You mean how I made it easier for you to get closer to Jeno? 

No need to thank me 

Consider this me making up for being a “stalker” as you like to put it 

We’re even now 

DEJUN! 

No need to yell 

My brain is fried right now 

HELP ME! 

OMG please I was so awkward with him 

Once you left I just shrivelled up 

Tragic 

Truly 

Well, I tried 

Not my fault you’re a loser 

I am NOT a loser 

Just 

Awkward 

What do you want me to do about it? 

Not my fault if you’re an introvert 

You owe me! 

Now, now, now 

I do NOT owe you anything 

We’re even now 

Dejun 

Please 

Pretty please 

Help me 

I beg! 

I’ll do anything 

Literally ANYTHING! 

Hmm 

That sure does sound tempting 

Okay 

I’ll help 

Thank you! 

Meet me at the auditorium 

Bring your violin 

What? 

You heard me 

Well 

You read that right 

Bring your violin 

Let me hear you play again 

WHAT!? 

No way 

Then I’m not gonna help you with Jeno 

Simple as 

WAIT! 

… 

Okay 

Fine 

I’ll play 

But you can’t look at me 

Fine by me 

Same time as always? 

Yeah, okay 

Perfect! 

I’ll see you then my young padawan 

Nerd 

Says the nerd 

*** 

Jaemin was at the auditorium before Dejun, his violin case laid over his lap. He seemed bored, completely zoned out as his eyes focused at the broken clock right at the other end of the large room. 

Dejun gave the wall a knock to announce his presence, subsequently snapping the younger out of his daze. 

“You’re early,” Dejun commented. 

“I came when I always come.” 

“Did you wait long?” 

Jaemin shrugged. “Maybe twenty minutes?” 

“Not too bad then,” the older mused. “Anyway, let’s get down to business.” 

“Which is?” 

“I help you,” Dejun stated. “And you play for me.” 

Jaemin scoffed. “Why though? I still don’t get why you insist on me playing for you.” 

“You know? Neither do I,” Dejun admitted. 

He really didn’t. All he knew was that watching Dejun was hypnotising; it drew him and, trapped him and made him feel everything – every heartache, every joy, every instance of burning jealousy, all of it. Dejun couldn’t exactly remember when he had someone move him with a piece of music in the same way Jaemin has. It was quite fascinating. 

“I just like the way you play. Besides, it’s only fair I get something out of this.” 

“I could pay you instead.” 

“I- you could?” 

Jaemin nodded. 

“Should have guessed. A lot of med students come from well off families, right?” 

“You could... say that,” Jaemin muttered. 

“Well, I won’t take your bribe,” Dejun announced. “One, because that feels like I’m your charity or something, and _two_ , because getting money in exchange for help getting with my friend seems just that bit wrong. My morals can be questionable at times, but when it comes to my friends, I have limits.” 

“I get it,” Jaemin said, looking up at Dejun. “So? How is this gonna work?” 

“You play and I help you get closer to Jeno,” Dejun replied. “Simple, don’t you think? I’ve known Jeno since he was wee big,” the older continued, showing Jaemin the height Jeno was at when they met, his hand drawing a line below his knee. “Wee little thing. Still couldn’t wipe his ass at the time.” 

“I didn’t know that, but okay,” Jaemin muttered. “Still, what are you gonna do to help me?” 

“Well-” Dejun paused. “Well, I’ll just give you tips. I know Jeno better than he knows himself.” 

“That seems unlikely.” 

“That was a hyperbole, Mr Smarty Pants,” Dejun pointed out, folding his arms over his chest. 

Jaemin rolled his eyes. 

“For example, Jeno is an avid lover of basketball,” Dejun announced. “He’s played since he was seven. He even played in our high school team. His dad used to play, nearly got a sports scholarship until he got into a nasty accident. That’s when Jeno decided he wanted to become a doctor, and of course, he settled on physiotherapy. Do you know anything about sports?” 

“Not basketball,” Jaemin replied. 

“That’s fine, he’ll talk about any sport under the sun.” 

“Even speed skating?” 

“Even that,” Dejun affirmed. “Whatever _that_ is.” 

Jaemin really did seem so uninterested in anything that Dejun said, and there was this small hint of annoyance – or maybe that was just apathy – in the way he looked at Dejun. 

“Okay, listen up kiddo, don’t look at my like that when you begged me to help.” 

“Huh? Look like what?” 

“Like- well, that,” Dejun said, gesturing to Jaemin’s expression. 

Offended, Jaemin looked away. “ _That_ is my normal face.” 

Nice one, Dejun. 

“How about we move past you insulting my resting bitch face and continue?” 

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Dejun agreed, feeling the urge to hide his head in the dirt. 

“Is there anything else you can tell me about him?” 

“Probably,” the older replied. 

Jaemin leaned his head forward. “Go on then...” 

“Jeno doesn’t have a favourite movie, song or even artist. Though, he does have an unhealthy amount of Taylor Swift in his playlist, and he could probably recite every line in the Kung Fu Panda series on the spot if you asked him,” Dejun declared, noticing how Jaemin tried to conceal a laugh, instead settling for an amused, soft smile. “He’s also easily scared but loves horror movies even if he can’t sleep afterwards. I remember how for his... seventeenth birthday, I think, we all watched The Exorcist and he was petrified. He kept clinging onto Hyuck for dear life throughout the night like an absolute baby.” 

“It is a scary movie though,” Jaemin pointed out. 

“Nobody’s saying it isn’t.” 

“Is there anything else then?” 

Dejun nodded, sitting himself down next to Jaemin. “He’s allergic to cats but still has them,” he stated. “I’m more of a dog person myself, but I have to admit, those two are adorable.” 

“I prefer dogs too,” Jaemin mused. 

“I mean, Jeno likes dogs too. Prefers cats, but still. It’s kinda of hard to not like dogs.” 

“True.” 

Dejun exchanged some more information about his friend to Jaemin, saying whatever was at the top of his head that could be useful to him for their outing together on the weekend. He gave Jaemin more than enough information to get him going on his merry way whilst still keeping things unsaid in the hope that the younger will actually make an effort to get to Jeno himself. 

But, with that out of the way, it was time for Jaemin to make up for his part of the deal. 

The older of the two clapped his hands together, startling Jaemin who was taking a sip from his water bottle. 

“What was that about?” Jaemin asked, some water having spilled down his chin. 

“It’s time for you to play,” Dejun announced. 

Jaemin sighed, looking down at his case. “I hoped you forgot about that.” 

“How could I? I’ve been waiting for this.” 

“Literally _why_ though?” 

“Because why not? Now up you get,” Dejun ordered. “You can play whatever you want. Just one song and we’ll call it a day.” 

Begrudgingly, Jaemin pushed himself up. “You’re so weird,” he muttered under his breath before unzipping his violin case, pulling the instrument out. “I’m not gonna face you, okay?” 

“Whatever helps you,” Dejun said. 

The younger groaned, turning himself around on his heel. He propped the instrument up to his shoulder, getting ready to play. 

“You look stiff,” Dejun commented. 

“I wouldn’t be if you weren't here,” Jaemin quipped back. 

“Do you have stage fright?” 

“Are you only realising this now after me constantly telling you I don’t performing in front of an audience? Are you really that dense?” 

“Hey, I’m older than you! Have some respect, will you?” 

“Whatever,” Jaemin muttered. “Just one song.” 

“Fine by me.” 

After two more minutes of getting ready, checking if his instrument was in tune, Jaemin raised his arm and took in a deep breath. And finally, he played. 

The first few notes were slightly wonky and off, however Dejun paid that no attention, only waiting for Jaemin to fall into his groove. He understood that once you start playing, once you get into your own rhythm, everything turns out okay. 

And that was the case for Jaemin; the younger found himself getting carried away by each note he played, every glide of the bow across the strings. He resembled the same man Dejun had seen perform for himself on all those occasions. Granted, Jaemin did look more tense, even if it wasn’t that noticeable in how he played. Dejun did feel a twinge of guilt for that, but he also just really wanted to hear Jaemin play again. 

Listening to the younger was a beautiful experience in and of itself; Jaemin wasn’t exactly talkative as Dejun found out over the course of their meeting. Sure, he was snappy with some dry sarcasm sprinkled in, but he didn’t like talking for more than one sentence at a time. Whilst Dejun talked to Jaemin about Jeno, the younger man at most hummed along, seemingly drained already from whatever amount of social interaction he had for the day. And even when he did talk, he didn’t talk about himself. But that was fine. 

When he played, though, Dejun was able to learn so much about Jaemin. He could tell his emotions so vividly. No matter what melody he was playing, be it sad or happy, his emotions peeked through here and there. 

Truly, it was beautiful. 

At that current moment, Dejun could feel what it was that Jaemin had on his mind. Jaemin was nervous, yet that was mixed with a sense of excitement, one which he hadn’t explicitly shown off to Dejun. It was there, albeit hidden beneath a stone face and a reluctance to speak. 

It was actually somewhat adorable. 

Young love was always adorable. 

With a few more fluid drags of his arm, Jaemin came to a grand finish. 

The younger exhaled, his tense muscles relaxing as he turned back around. 

“Can I go now?” 

“Go ahead,” Dejun replied. “You were great.” 

“Whatever.” Jaemin carefully put his instrument away, zipping up the case. 

“Can I say, you’re different in person compared to when you text me.” 

“How am I supposed to take that?” 

“However you want,” Dejun said. “I was just pointing it out. You were very lively in text.” 

Jaemin shrugged, picking his violin case up. “So? It’s easier to talk through a screen. You have a problem with that?” 

“No,” Dejun answered, offering Jaemin a smile. 

Maybe the younger has been snarky and sharp with Dejun as of now, but Dejun didn’t take that to heart. He could tell that there was more to Jaemin that what met the eye. He probably just needed time to get used to Dejun, and Dejun was completely fine with that. 

“I’ll get going then,” Jaemin announced. 

“Okay. Take care,” Dejun said, waving at the younger. “I’ll text you the plans later.” 

Jaemin didn’t say anything more before he left. 

Dejun had to admit, he did have a soft spot for Jaemin already. In a way, Jaemin reminded Dejun of his younger self: a bit closed off and shy but meaning well. 

Not wanting to sit around for too long, Dejun pulled himself up and headed out. 

*** 

The weekend rolled around just like that and Dejun once more felt himself becoming a third wheel. At least that time he also had Jaemin there to share some of the burden with him. But, of course, Jaemin wasn’t panning on paying him any attention during their outing. 

Still, it made Dejun feel that bit less awkward. 

Surprisingly, Jaemin became absorbed into the group all thanks to Donghyuck. The boy was bright and friendly and once he wanted to be your friend, there was absolutely nothing you could do other than accept your fate. It was amusing to watch Jaemin be pulled in for a big, warm hug not even ten minutes after introducing himself to Donghyuck, fighting for his dear life to free himself to no avail. 

Donghyuck respected Jaemin’s boundaries though. After all, he’d get to crack his walls one by one, slowly as they got to know each other more – that was absolutely certain. 

Mark also grew a liking to Jaemin after a few minutes. “He kinda reminds me of you, dude,” he whispered to Dejun as the group sat around, waiting for Jeno to show up after he missed the bus and was running late. 

“You think so too?” Dejun asked, glad that he wasn't the only one to notice. 

“Yeah. He’s even got the blank look to him. Just like you.” 

“I don’t,” Dejun argued. 

“But you kind of do, dude.” 

Dejun grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Whatever.” 

Thankfully, Jeno came to Dejun’s rescue. 

The younger friend came rocking in, an apologetic look to him. “Sorry for keeping you guys waiting,” he said. “I saw a cat on the way and... well you can guess.” 

“Missed the bus to pet a cat,” Donghyuck teased, looking up at his friend with a grin. “Typical Lee Jeno behaviour.” 

Jeno shrugged, a shy smile playing on his lips. 

“Anyway, since you’re late, you’re paying for the food,” Mark said, his leg strewn over Hendery’s lap. 

“Mark,” Jeno whined, pouting in protest. 

“Relax, we’re not gonna extort you,” Mark assured. “At least pay for the drinks.” 

“I’m cool with that.” 

“Great,” Dejun announced. “Now enough of this chit-chat, I’m in the mood to beat all of you at ice hockey.” 

“Lame,” Donghyuck murmured. 

“And I’m playing you first,” Dejun said, pointing to his friend. “Now up you get.” 

Luckily there were no protests to that. Everyone got up and walked further into the arcade, the lighting changing once there were no windows in sight, only neon lights and flickering machines illuminating the place. 

Dejun and DOnghyuck rushed over to the ice hockey table, both men getting pumped up, shooting taunts at the other as Mark had the honour of officiating the match, commentating on every goal and near miss. In the end though, Dejun came out victorious, putting Donghyuck down a peg. That was always a satisfying thing to do. 

And truly, the outing went by in a flash, everyone having fun – even Jaemin. 

Dejun had a nagging worry that Jaemin wouldn’t fit in, or that he wouldn’t make the effort to find his place in the pre-established group of friends. But thankfully, Jaemin blended in pretty well. That probably had to do with the fact that Donghyuck had become quite fond of Jaemin, pulling him around and joking about. 

That also came with an added benefit for Jaemin; wherever there was Donghyuck, Jeno was there too. So, more often than not, those three stuck together. Dejun couldn’t even be annoyed that he was left with Mark and Hendery. Besides, he had become accustomed to Hendery’s presence at that point, though there were a few minutes where his mind betrayed him and made him think of less than appropriate images in the moment. 

He still had to erase all those pictures before he ended up shrivelling up on himself. 

It was a work in progress. 

Jaemin. Right. 

After warming up to the group, he was more sociable than Dejun expected. Sure, he wasn’t talking constantly, but he did say far more than at any instance Dejun had seen him. 

He had a pleasant voice: low and smooth, maybe a bit raspy at times but also light and bouncy when he got excited. 

Because yes, Jaemin did get excited. At first, Dejun was shocked to see a facial expression other than disgust or disinterest on Jaemin’s face. In all fairness, he looked cute – sweet even – when he smiled and got happy. His laugh was also pleasing to the ears, even when it became a cackle when he got too carried away, such as when Mark accidentally got hit in the balls. Jaemin clung onto Jeno as he folded over in laughter, eyes in his eyes. 

Of course, he apologised for laughing, but since everyone else was in hysterics too, there wasn’t a need to apologise. 

All in all, Jaemin was a nice addition to the friend group. Honestly, it felt like he belonged right in which was always a nice thing. 

After having their fun, the guys made their way over to grab something to eat and drink. Jeno kept his promise, saying he would pay for everyone’s drinks. Nobody complained about that. 

Jaemin found himself sandwiched in between Jeno and Dejun, though Donghyuck insisted he should sit in Dejun’s place instead so that he could chat away with his newly made friend. Jeno told Donghyuck to stop nagging and made him sit next to Jeno. 

That’s how they stayed for the remainder of the outing. 

Different conversations arose, everyone joining in here and there. 

“What about you?” Jeno asked, looking over at Jaemin. “Do you play any sports?” 

“I used to,” Jaemin replied. “I did speed skating when I was younger. I... probably would have done it professionally but I chose medicine.” 

That spiked everyone’s interest. 

“Were you that good?” Hendery asked. 

“I mean...” Jaemin became bashful, looking down at his lap. “Nationwide, I was second.” 

“No way!” Jeno exclaimed. “Seriously? That’s so cool!” 

Jaemin shrugged, brushing the praise off. 

“We should go ice skating next time,” Donghyuck suggested. “We could have a race. Imagine if I beat you, would that make me first?” 

Jaemin laughed. “You think you can beat me?” 

“I know I can,” Donghyuck replied, blowing a kiss at Jaemin. 

“I can’t skate,” Mark chimed in. 

“Nobody asked, Mark,” Donghyuck quipped. 

“Rude.” 

So, Dejun had to admit, the group outing went far better than he expected. 

*** 

Dejun spotted Jaemin sat on the opposite side of the café, and so, he made his way over. 

He didn’t hesitate as he sat himself down, throwing an arm over Jaemin’s shoulder as three other people ogled at them. 

“How’s my favourite med student doing?” Dejun asked, looking over at Jaemin. The younger didn’t seem impressed, practically glaring at Dejun before he just sighed, giving in. 

“Fine,” Jaemin replied. “You?” 

“Perfect,” Dejun replied. “You know, Jeno asked me if you like horror movies. He’s got a spare ticket to the cinema on Friday.” 

“Really?” Jaemin asked, lighting up at the news. 

Dejun nodded. 

“I’ll go,” the younger stated. 

“Cool,” Dejun said. “Meet me at the auditorium in... an hour? I’ll hand you the ticket. Oh and, bring your violin.” 

At that, Jaemin groaned. “I hate you.” 

“Love you too,” Dejun replied, voice overly sweet. 

Someone cleared their throat. 

“Well, I should excuse myself,” Dejun said, looking over at the three confused faces sat around a table with Jaemin. “Are these your friends? I’m Dejun.” 

“Hey,” one of them said. “I’m Yangyang. This is Renjun, and that’s Shotaro,” Yangyang explained, pointing at the other two sat next to him. 

“Pleasure to meet you all,” Dejun said. “But I gotta go.” He stood up, patting Jaemin on the shoulder. “I’ll see you in an hour. Unless you don’t wanna spend more time with Jeno, in which case that’s-” 

“I’ll be there,” Jaemin assured. “Now leave me alone.” 

“Dope. See you around.” 

*** 

“Are you always like this?” Jaemin asked, his instrument already out. 

“Like what?” 

“Like that,” Jaemin replied. “You just barged in unannounced. You could have just texted.” 

“And miss the opportunity to see your lovely face? I think not,” Dejun said, propping his chin up on his shoulder. Before Jaemin could say anything, Dejun spoke up again. “What song are you gonna play for me?” 

Jaemin pointed to the sheet music he brought with himself, the paper held up on a music stand Dejun pulled out of the small storage room. 

“Seems happy,” Dejun mused. 

“I guess it is,” the younger muttered, lifting the violin up to his shoulder. 

Dejun took that as a sign that Jaemin didn’t want to speak any more. That was perfectly fine. 

Who needed to talk when Jaemin could simply play instead? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong)  
> My [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/teniljohnyong)  
> 


	3. Talent Show

“I wish I could have gone,” Donghyuck whined, dramatically sighing as he rested his head on Jaemin’s forehead. “Was it fun? Did you get scared? Did Jeno cry like a little baby?” The purple haired boy kept nagging Jaemin with questions, disappointed that he didn’t have the chance to go watch the horror movie with Jeno as planned. 

Jaemin looked around, noticing Jeno’s face was blushed in embarrassment. It was pretty clear what the answer to all those questions was. 

“Yes,” Jaemin said. “It was fun.” 

Dejun honestly didn’t think that it would have only been Jeno and Jaemin at the cinema. So, when Jaemin started texting him last Friday about how there was nobody else there other than Jeno, spamming Dejun with incoherent words in caps lock, it came as a surprise. 

But the event seemed to have brought the two closer. It was cute. 

Dejun was happy to see the progress, especially considering how different Jaemin seemed now; it seemed as if the younger had gotten out of his hardened shell, finally acting more of himself around everyone else, even if he did still tease Dejun the most, acting snarky and ganging up on the eldest of the group alongside Donghyuck who never passed up the opportunity to joke about. Such was his charm and nature. 

“Being sick sucks,” Donghyuck continued. “Jaeminnie, next time you need to cure me. Okay? You’re my personal doctor from now on.” 

“I’m a first-year med student, Hyuck,” Jaemin pointed out. 

Donghyuck frowned, looking up at Jaemin with big, gleaming puppy eyes. 

Jaemin caved in. “I’ll try my best,” he said, smiling when Donghyuck hugged him. 

“My personal doctor,” Donghyuck murmured, clinging onto Jaemin, sapping up all of his body heat. He still was feeling somewhat under the weather, but he still agreed to come out and meet up, assuring everyone he was doing much better now. 

Jeno snorted. 

“Jealous, Lee?” Donghyuck asked, looking over at Jeno sat next to Dejun. 

“Totally,” the older of the two replied, and though it was meant to come off as playful, there was a noticeable hint of sincerity interwoven into his words. 

Who would have thought? 

Dejun glanced over at Jaemin, his eyes practically saying, _see?_

Jaemin chewed on his bottom lip, fighting back the urge to smile. 

Cute. 

Oh so cute. 

There was no other way to describe it other than cute. 

Jaemin was cute and so was his crush on Jeno. It was almost like a first crush, pure and awkward in the most endearing of ways. Dejun wasn’t entirely sure if Jaemin has dated anyone before, after all, Jaemin didn’t exactly spill out every aspect of his life to Dejun so there wasn’t any way to know unless a: Dejun asked him, or b: Jaemin decided to mention it one of these days. 

Dejun actually wished Jaemin all the best in his pursuit of love. Jaemin was a friend in the end, so why shouldn’t he hope things go according to plan for him? Why shouldn’t he hope his friends get together? There were literally no reasons for that. 

“We can always go see another movie together?” Jeno suggested. 

“I’m totally down,” Donghyuck replied. 

“Cool, I-” Jeno didn’t have the chance to finish that thought before Donghyuck interrupted him. 

“Jaemin, you down?” 

“I- yeah,” Jaemin replied, smiling over at Donghyuck, looking over at Jeno afterwards. “I’d like that.” 

“Dejun?” Donghyuck continued. “You wanna join too?” 

The man in questioned looked over at Jaemin, trying to gauge what he was thinking. Would it be wise to go along with them? 

Jaemin’s eyes said yes. 

It made sense. Jaemin would stick around with Jeno whilst Dejun occupied Donghyuck. That sounded like a solid, reasonable plan. 

“Sure,” he replied. “I’ll join you guys.” 

Jaemin looked thankful, offering Dejun a small, secret smile – one unlike anything Dejun had ever seen before. It made his heart flutter, a warm, tingly sensation coursing through his veins. 

Dejun wouldn’t mind seeing more of those smiles. 

*** 

“Yangyang thinks you’re weird,” Jaemin announced. 

“Unprovoked,” Dejun said, handing a water bottle over to Jaemin. “Why does he think that?” 

Jaemin twisted the cap open, taking a small sip of his drink before putting it aside. “He thinks it’s weird – us, the way we talk,” he elaborated. “I mean, he’s seen you only twice and both times you were being... well, _weird_. Though the more exact word he used was _shady._ He thinks you’re shady.” 

“Like a dealer?” 

Jaemin snorted, nodding. “Yeah, like that.” 

“What did you say to him?” 

“Nothing,” Jaemin replied. “He’s kinda right though. You help me with Jeno and in return I play for you. That’s weird, isn’t it?” 

Dejun tried to argue, yet there really wasn’t anything he could say to defend their little arrangement. It truly was a bit weird. 

“Okay, maybe it’s not the most usual thing in the world,” the oldest agreed. “But hey, it’s fun, right? We have fun, don’t we?” 

“No answer.” 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Dejun said, a pleased grin plastered across his face. “Anyway, what do you have in store for me for today? Will you give me deep, devoted yearning, or maybe something upbeat, maybe sexy, or mysterious and sinister?” 

“How about you shut up and listen?” 

“Oh I’d love that.” 

The corners of Jaemin’s mouth twitched upwards, and before Dejun could get a good look of his humoured smile, Jaemin picked up his instrument, stood up and turned around to play. 

Dejun was well acquainted with Jaemin’s back at that point in time. He had seen the man perform like that since the first time, back always turned away from the audience, too shy to face out to everyone, even if it was just Dejun or rows of empty seats. It was a shame, honestly. 

With a talent like Jaemin’s, it was such an absolute shame that he found it difficult to share with others. Though, in a way, Jaemin’s reluctance to perform for anyone else made Dejun feel special – even if he did coerce Jaemin in a way. Only he was able to hear Jaemin play; he was the only one who would ever get a private show and that... well that was amazing. 

Jaemin took in a deep breath, his posture changing as he got ready to play. 

Dejun waited, and waited, and waited. 

And finally, he received a true blessing. 

The melody was vibrant, warm and smooth. Dejun felt it run through him, travelling through his body, turning to a pleasant yellow as it flowed in his veins, filling him up with the exact joy which Jaemin himself was experiencing. It was a beautiful emotion, one which Dejun felt jealous of. A part of him wanted to feel exactly the same as Jaemin did. 

There was a distinct change to the songs Jaemin played when compared to what he used to perform. There was happiness, a sense of comfort and expectation for something more, something great laced into each note played. Jaemin had found what he had been searching for when Dejun first heard him play, though he wasn't fully there yet. 

It didn’t take a genius to understand what it was that had changed the way Jaemin felt and subsequently played. 

Jeno. 

The two had gotten closer – there was absolutely no arguing that. Dejun especially noticed that after a few more get togethers with his friend group; Jaemin and Jeno simply clicked, sharing a similar sense of humour, their personalities matching well with each other. Watching the two talk just seemed liked they were meant to be. 

It made Dejun feel good, as if he had accomplished something great by getting those two together. And though they technically were still just friends, Dejun was sure that they would end up being more than that. He had a really good feeling about Jeno and Jaemin. 

Dejun wondered who would make the first move. A part of him wanted to say Jeno, but he knew his friend too well, understanding that he was far too dense to get the hint. He would probably sit on his feelings for years, doubting everything, every touch, every smile and look directed his way, always just that bit too scared that he read everything wrong and was at a risk of losing someone close to him. 

So, Dejun wondered it Jaemin would bite the bullet and take the leap. At first, he doubted that was possible, but the more he got to know Jaemin, the more he started to believe that the younger was capable of it. If anything, he was probably bolder than Jeno in that aspect, so it wasn’t entirely ridiculous to think that he would ask Jeno out first. 

Either way, Dejun was cheering the two on. 

Honestly, it felt nice playing cupid; it allowed Dejun to forget for a moment that he was very much single. 

But it was a well needed break from dating – though dating was a very strong word to refer to his past flings – after constantly seeing someone for pretty much the entirety of his first year. It was all just an attempt to fill a void in his heart, to feel the touch and affection of another person after years of thinking he didn’t deserve it – that he didn’t have the right to it. 

His first year was filled with experimenting with the idea of care and desire. He enjoyed it, but there was never a moment where he felt like all of that was true. Sure, his exes were fine albeit with their human flaws, but none ever seemed to give what Dejun really craved. Hence, he decided to quit whilst he still had the chance. He decided to focus on himself for now, and if someone came up along the way – someone that Dejun believed would allow Dejun to feel what he really wanted – then he’d let them in. 

For now, he would play cupid. He was okay with that. 

Jaemin dragged out the last few notes, letting them resonate within Dejun, echoing around the walls surrounding them. 

Just like that, the song came to its unfortunate end. 

“Amazing,” Dejun praised with upmost sincerity. “As always.” 

“You don’t have to constantly be like that,” Jaemin muttered, bending down to put his violin away. 

“You mean me praising you? You know I mean it, right? I think you’re great.” 

“I'm not that good,” Jaemin contended. “Average, maybe decent at best. Not great though.” 

“That is a lie and you know it,” Dejun said. “Really. I can feel everything you feel when you play.” 

“Bull,” the younger dismissed, zipping up his case and grabbing the water bottle he placed aside, taking a few sips from it. 

“It’s true! I feel it all, right here,” Dejun said, placing his hand over his heart. “It’s filled with joy and yearning. I know you were playing thinking of Jeno.” 

Jaemin sucked in his lips at that, looking away from Dejun, almost in embarrassment. 

“It’s cute,” the older laughed light-heartedly. “Really sweet. I really do hope it works out for you two.” 

“You do?” 

Dejun nodded, smiling when Jaemin sat himself down next to him. Usually, Jaemin would try to run off as soon as he possibly could, not caring how stupid he looked as he rushed out with his backpack open, coat half on and his scarf held between his teeth instead of around his neck. So, this was a pleasant change of things. 

“Why?” 

“Because I think you two are great for each other,” Dejun explained. “And,” he added, bumping his shoulder into Jaemin’s. “If you two get together, it means I’ll get to see your pretty face around even more.” 

Jaemin laughed, rolling his eyes. “Yeah?” He questioned, reciprocating by bumping into Dejun. “Can’t you get enough of this?” 

“How could I ever?” 

The younger shook his head, a flurry of laughs leaving past his lips – pink like the cherry blossoms, but no longer matching his hair. Jaemin dyed it to blue just as to Jeno’s suggestion. 

He looked stunning. 

“Do you think he likes me though? You know, more than a friend?” Jaemin questioned. 

“As of now, he probably thinks of you as a friend, but I doubt he’d say no to you,” Dejun replied honestly. “But then again, I don’t think anyone could say no to you.” 

“You’ve only known me like... two months? Yet you sound so sure of yourself,” the younger chuckled, playing with the cap of his water bottle. 

“I just know these things,” Dejun stated with a nonchalant shrug. 

“You’d be surprised to find out that I’ve been rejected multiple times,” Jaemin declared. “It’s pathetic, crushing even.” 

“No way.” 

Jaemin hummed, nodding in response. 

“Seriously?” 

“Let’s just say most guys I’ve liked turned out to be absolute dicks. I even fought with one,” Jaemin announced, laughing to himself. “I had to be held back by Yangyang and Shotaro – well, technically Shotaro held me back and Yangyang held back Renjun from decapitating the other guy. He might be tiny but he is feisty.” 

“They always are,” Dejun mused. “What did he do? I mean, a rejection doesn’t warrant nearly murdering someone.” 

“Let’s just say he was being a dick and leave it at that.” 

Dejun knew when to back off. 

“And you? I’m sure you’ve got plenty people fawning over you,” Jaemin said, swiftly moving away from himself. 

“I’m on a dating ban,” the older stated. 

“Oh?” 

“It’s nothing, really,” Dejun assured. “It’s more so that it feels... toxic. I want more and I can never get it, so I used to settle on stupid, meaningless things. I always had a boyfriend to fill this hole in myself, it never worked out though.” 

“Damn... that sucks.” 

Dejun laughed. “It sure does suck. Sometimes all I want is to just get laid but I have to control myself.” 

“Eww, didn’t need to know that.” 

“Sorry.” 

The two resulted in sitting around, saying nothing after that. However, Dejun didn’t feel like Jaemin was planning on running away any time soon. That sure was new. 

“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

“Umm... sure,” Jaemin apprehensively said. “What is it?” 

“When did you start playing the violin? I mean, between you being a speed skater and aiming for a career in the medicine department, I’d think you wouldn’t have the time to learn.” 

Jaemin chuckled. “Would you believe me if I told you I also can play the piano and that I did ballet?” 

“No fucking way,” Dejun exclaimed. “You’re just making shit up now.” 

“I promise! I also play a bit on the guitar but I’m not that good.” 

“What the hell was your childhood like?” 

“Hectic,” Jaemin responded. “Very hectic, actually.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Jaemin uttered. “I was busy pretty much every day. I either had music lessons or skating or ballet, and on top I had all my tutoring sessions. I dropped ballet when I turned fourteen so I had a breather in my otherwise packed schedule. I liked it at first, but I overworked myself. The same happened with everything else.” 

“Why though?” 

“My parents... let’s just say that they wanted to make sure I had options in life. If not a dancer then a musician, if not a musician then an athlete, and if not an athlete then a doctor. In the end I settled on this.” 

“Do you want to be a doctor then, or are you just doing this for your parents?” 

There was a silence. 

That pretty much answered for itself. 

“What do you want then?” 

“I don’t know,” Jaemin admitted. “I thought I wanted to skate, but now that I haven’t been on the ice for like a year, I don’t really miss it like I thought I would.” 

“And what about music? You play like you were meant for the stage.” 

“A musician with stage fright? Not really ideal.” 

“How about I let you in on a secret then,” Dejun said, smiling at the younger. 

“And what would that be?” 

Dejun leaned in, whispering into Jaemin’s ear. “I used to have stage fright too.” 

“Seriously?” Jaemin asked, sounding quite shocked to hear that. 

“Yup,” Dejun replied. “Used to fear getting up on stage. Getting up to receive awards or playing in school plays always made me feel sick,” he explained. 

“What changed then?” 

“A few things,” the older stated. “But I’d say that my dad helped me with that. He bought be a guitar for my birthday- he thought that we could learn together and get closer. He wasn’t the best at playing, but he taught me the basics, and once I finally got better than him, I wasn’t as scared of getting up on stage.” 

“Because you could play?” 

“I... I never saw it exactly like that,” Dejun said. “Sure, I didn’t feel as scared because I was good at playing the guitar. When I came up to perform, I knew that I was good, that I probably could play better than everyone in the audience so even if I messed up, I still did something they couldn’t do,” he elaborated, resting his chin in the palm of his hand, looking at Jaemin who just looked confused. “Does that make sense?” 

“I guess,” the younger said. “But... when you get up on stage without a guitar, how does that feel?” 

“The same,” Dejun said. “After a while, I got used to it. I could get up and do anything and I’d be fine. Sure, there are still times I’m a bit jittery and nervous, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” 

Jaemin hummed. 

“You just have to believe in yourself, and if that doesn’t help, just imagine everyone in the audience is in their underwear.” 

“I’ll pass on that one.” 

Dejun laughed, nodding faintly. “Yeah, not a pleasant thing to imagine, I’ll admit it.” 

“So... you’re just saying I should just be... confident?” 

“Pretty much,” Dejun said. “It can be hard, I know.” 

“I’m confident though,” Jaemin pointed out. “Just... not with this.” 

“And that’s fine. I bet you weren’t shy on the ice.” 

Jaemin chuckled, shaking his head. “I was a beast on the ice. I knew close to nobody could beat me.” 

“And that’s the confidence you should have when playing the violin too.” 

The younger looked away, bashful. 

“Oh come on! You’re great!” 

“You’re just saying that to be nice,” Jaemin dismissed the praise. “I’m sure there’s plenty of people in the music department that could rub me into the ground.” 

Dejun frowned. “You’re still great. Maybe you won’t be a world renounced violinist, but you can still play. And let me tell you, you play fucking amazing.” 

Jaemin rolled his eyes but Dejun wasn’t having it. 

“I’m serious! I really do feel the emotions laced into the songs you play. Not a lot of people are capable of that. I’m not that emotional of a guy, you know.” 

“I... wouldn’t have guessed,” Jaemin admitted. “You seem like the type.” 

“I know,” Dejun said. “But I’m not the best with emotions, like, at all. Hence my first year at uni, dating and fucking around just like that. I never got attached to anyone; I never even started laying down the ground works for a solid relationship because hey, that’s way too much emotional effort on my side.” 

Jaemin looked like he didn’t know what to say. 

“I’m sorry,” the older apologised. “I’m just making things awkward again.” 

“It’s fine,” Jaemin assured. “I’ve been told I’m good emotional support to have around. It apparently has something to do with the fact I talk like a kindergarten teacher.” 

The older snorted. 

“What’s funny?” Jaemin asked, holding down a laugh. 

“It’s true,” Dejun uttered. “You do talk like that.” 

Dejun didn’t have a way to describe the way Jaemin talked up until that point. But there was something so inherently cute and endearing about the way he spoke, softly and without enough force to hurt anyone’s feelings. Though, maybe at first, Jaemin did come off somewhat cold towards Dejun. It was only until his heart started to thaw out to the older that he spoke with such animation to him – especially when he was around Dejun’s group of friends, Donghyuck being the perfect match to his sweet way of speaking and acting. 

It was honestly quite charming. 

“I’ve also been told I speak like a camp villain so honestly, that’s up to you to decide which describes me better.” 

“Oh my god...” Dejun uttered. “You kinda do.” 

“I’m the two ends of a spectrum,” Jaemin said, laughing along with Dejun. 

“It’s cute,” Dejun stated, bumping his shoulder against Jaemin’s. 

“Are you calling me cute? That’s kinda gay.” 

The older laughed, resting his head on Jaemin’s shoulder. It felt comfortable being like that. For some reason, Dejun wanted to stay just like that forever. There really was something about Jaemin that drew him in – that made him feel secure, warm and at home. If he had to compare the way he felt around Jaemin, the most suitable comparison would be the way he felt around Mark, yet there was still something innately different about the two. 

Dejun couldn’t put a finger to it just yet. 

“Can I be honest?” Jaemin asked after a minute or two of just sitting together like that in silence. 

“I would love that,” Dejun said, still keeping his head resting on the younger. It was too comfortable to move away. 

Jaemin took in a deep inhale, slowly letting it out. “I... I don’t really know what I wanna do with myself.” 

Dejun hummed, able to relate to an extent to that sentiment. 

“Before, you asked about if I’m only going into medicine because of my parents,” Jaemin resumed. “And honestly? Probably. But then again, it’s not like they never gave me any options. They were understanding with skating, with ballet, all of it. Yet nothing ever felt like I had much of a say in it. And yeah, I don’t mind becoming a doctor because that’s a great position, but I don’t think it will ever make me as happy as I want.” 

“I get that,” Dejun murmured. “Maybe not to that extent, but I understand.” 

“Do you?” Jaemin looked down at the older, as if searching for some sort of comfort from him. 

“You feel lost, don’t you?” 

Jaemin nodded. 

“I’ve been there. Not in the same way as you, but I’ve definitely felt lost beyond belief,” Dejun stated, placing his hand on Jaemin’s thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It might take a while, but you’ll find your way. The important point is that you know you’re lost – that you’re not denying it. Denying it won’t help anyone. And listen,” he said, sitting himself up to give off a more convincing demeanour. “Maybe you won’t be happy with being a doctor like you want to be, but maybe you’ll grow to like it in the end. And if you don’t, you still have so many options in life. So many,” Dejun emphasised. “You can always start fresh. And, if you’re willing to test something out, I could help.” 

“How?” 

“There’s a talent show taking place in March. It’s still a while away, but that gives us plenty of time to practice.” 

Jaemin looked at Dejun as if the man had said the craziest thing imaginable. 

“What?” 

“A talent show?” Jaemin repeated in disbelief. 

Dejun nodded. 

“Are- are you insinuating I join?” 

“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Dejun replied. Before Jaemin could slip in another word of protest, Dejun spoke up again, successfully stopping the younger from saying anything else. “But, if it makes it any easier for you, we could join together. As a duo.” 

“A what now?” 

“A duo,” Dejun repeated. “That’s when two people-” 

“I know what a duo is,” Jaemin stated. 

“Then why’d you ask?” 

Jaemin rolled his eyes. “Are you serious?” 

“About performing together? Yes,” Dejun answered. “No, but hear me out, that would be amazing!” 

“I’d argue otherwise.” 

“You can argue all you want, Jaemin, but I know I’m right,” Dejun said. “Please, give it a good thought before outright saying no.” 

The younger glanced over at Dejun, his expression unreadable. 

In the end, Jaemin sighed, giving in. “Fine,” he uttered. “I’ll think about it, but no promises.” 

“You won’t regret it.” 

“I haven’t agreed yet,” the blue haired pointed out. 

“I know, but I have a feeling you will.” 

“Unbelievable,” Jaemin muttered. 

*** 

Though Jaemin hadn’t given him a response yet, Dejun was already deep in thought about what he should prepare for their performance. It was truly harder than he expected it to be. 

Dejun chewed on his pen, staring down at his notebook, the page in front of him covered in scribbles as he tried to think of something. His group practice ended a good ten minutes ago, yet he was still sat around, even after Mark offered to carry the equipment up when he noticed how Dejun was clearly going through something. It was honestly easier to leave Dejun be than to try and get him to clean up. 

The sound of a chair being dragged startled Dejun. 

He jumped, looking up to make sense of what happened. 

It was Kun. 

“Did I scare you?” Kun asked, laughing at Dejun’s flustered state. 

Dejun placed a hand over his pounding heart, steadying his breathing in an attempt to calm himself after that momentary fright. “It’s all good,” he assured. 

“That’s a relief,” the older man said. “What are you up to? Shouldn’t you be heading out by now?” 

“Yeah, I just... I was just thinking,” Dejun replied. 

“Wanna share? Is it for a project or anything in particular? I’m happy to help.” 

“No it’s-” Dejun paused, resuming again with a change of heart. “Do guitars and violins go together?” 

Kun hummed in thought. “That sure is a question,” he murmured. “But yes. They do. It can be tricky to get those two to match and sound like they belong together, but it is possible. Why?” 

Dejun shrugged. “Well... I’ve told you about Jaemin, right?” 

“You mentioned,” Kun replied with a small nod. “He plays the violin, doesn’t he?” 

“He does,” the younger confirmed. “And maybe I suggested we could perform as a duo at the talent show.” 

Kun _ahh_ -ed. 

“I’m struggling to figure out what we should so though.” 

“You can always play the piano,” Kun suggested. “It would match a violin better. Or you could sing.” 

“I know, but I want Jaemin to be the centre of attention, not me,” Dejun stated. “He has to stand out, not me.” 

“Well that’s... not what I was expecting,” Kun said. “How come? Don’t you want to show off too?” 

“I do, but more than that, I just want him to... I don’t even know how to explain it,” Dejun said with a groan. “I want him to understand that he’s talented. He doesn’t believe me when I say it.” 

The older man hummed, understanding what Dejun was trying to say. 

“Is that weird?” 

“Maybe a bit,” Kun replied. “But it’s also sweet. You must like him a lot to be doing all this for him.” 

“I do,” Dejun affirmed without hesitation. “He’s honestly great. I just wanna help him, you know? Maybe if I prove to him that he can really move people with his talent, maybe then he wouldn’t be so lost.” 

Kun gave Dejun a look, scanning him with observant eyes. Dejun didn’t understand, feeling like he was being judged by the man in that moment. 

After all that, Kun just hummed, offering Dejun a thin albeit kind smile. “I’m sure you’ll be just fine,” he added. “You’ll figure something out in the end. But if you need any help, I can ask a few friends if they can offer you some wisdom on guitar-violin duets.” 

“Thanks.” 

“No worries. Now, get going before it gets too dark.” 

“Will do.” 

*** 

“A talent show?” Jeno questioned, looking over at Dejun and Jaemin. The group decided to hang out again, meeting up to grab something to eat on a Friday afternoon. 

“Yeah,” Dejun replied. “We’re thinking of joining.” 

“Correction,” Jaemin butted in, his finger raised up. “You’re coercing me to do it.” 

“I am _not_ coercing you,” Dejun said, trying to defend himself. “It was a suggestion and you said you’d think about it.” 

Jaemin sighed. 

“I think that would be cool,” Jeno said. “You know, if you two did take part. I bet it would be dope. I know Dejun is good at playing, but I’d love to hear you play too.” 

Jaemin bit his lip, chewing on it as his eyes wandered down to his hands on his lap. There was a moment of thought before he looked over at Dejun, his eyes giving away exactly what he meant. 

That was a yes. 

Dejun and Jaemin would perform together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong)  
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	4. A Realisation

Dejun took Kun’s offer of help, finding himself surrounded by different books, music sheets as well as a page of scribbled notes linking him to YouTube videos with both guitarists and violinists performing a piece together. He noticed that most of them were covers, but they worked so he had some hope and optimism that he could make something which sounded good for him and Jaemin to play together. 

There were still plenty of time, but Dejun was completely invested in the talent show. He wanted to create a piece which would make Jaemin shine. He didn’t care that much about himself; he’s performed plenty and he would perform even more, but the same couldn’t be said about Jaemin, so Dejun wanted nothing more than to place the spotlight on the younger. Hopefully, after all his efforts, Jaemin might realise just how talented he is. And maybe – just maybe – Jaemin might consider playing not only in the comfort of a secluded, empty hall. 

If Dejun could do that – if he could convince Jaemin he was good enough to be up on stage with a full audience coming just to watch him – he would feel accomplished. Why? 

Well, that was the question. 

He started thinking about the reason a bit more after he spoke to Kun. There was just this itching feeling at the back of his heart every time he made himself think over the performance he was planning. Dejun wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but it made him question just _why_ he was so adamant on helping Jaemin. 

Of course, there was the obvious answer that Jaemin was Dejun’s friend and that Dejun wanted to help him out, maybe awaken a new passion in the younger man. But that also didn’t hold up as well as Dejun would hope. Sure, maybe he would help out his other friends, but he would never let it consume so much of his days. Dejun was thinking about Jaemin and the piece he wanted to compose for him – for the both of them – practically every moment of the day; he thought of it in the shower, in his lectures, when he was eating or getting dressed, and even as he was going to sleep. 

All Dejun could think of was the piece and Jaemin. 

It was just those two things. 

And somewhere along the way, Dejun started to wonder if he was thinking about one more than the other. 

He was. 

Dejun was thinking of Jaemin constantly. He thought of his smile, of how he tugged on Dejun’s heartstrings whenever he played the violin, or how he talked with passion only to slow down and zone out when he had enough of social interaction. He thought of how Jaemin would light up when he was around Jeno, how he craved to be with the man, to be more than just friends. 

Dejun’s heart clenched at that thought. 

He laughed in the privacy of his room, staring down at his notepad. 

Surely that wasn’t the case. Surely... surely, he didn’t have a crush on Jaemin. That wasn’t right. 

“You’re overthinking,” Dejun muttered to himself. 

He brushed that thought aside, focusing on composing a piece appropriate for him and Jaemin to perform. 

To his surprise, he came up with something by the end of the night. 

*** 

“Really?” Jaemin asked, shocked as Dejun was shoving a few sheets of paper in his face. 

Dejun nodded. 

The younger took the sheets, looking down at them, flipping through to read what Dejun had come up with. 

“It’s not perfect,” Dejun stated. “But we’ll fix it as we go along. Let’s just call this the starting point.” 

Jaemin hummed, eyes still glued to the composition. “This is... you did all this? That’s...” 

“Come on,” Dejun ushered, a playful grin on his lips. “Compliment me. I crave the validation.” 

Jaemin snorted. “Fine, it looks great,” he said. “I’m impressed. I really am.” 

“Thanks, I’ve been thinking about it for ages and them _boom_ , a wave of inspiration came over me.” 

Curious, Jaemin raised his brow. “And what was that inspiration?” 

“It was-” Dejun paused, his smug and prideful expression falling and morphing into one of fear. Now that he was done with the piece, after refining the few first drafts he had, Dejun finally ad a moment to actually remember what the hell he was thinking and feeling as he transcribed the piece from his head and heart onto paper. 

Once the realisation sunk it, Dejun felt himself going shy. 

He couldn’t say it. 

“Oh, now I’m definitely curious,” Jaemin mused, humoured by Dejun’s outward reaction. “It has to be something good.” 

“It’s nothing,” Dejun dismissed, clearing his throat. He looked away from Jaemin for a second to compose himself. 

Internally, he was screaming at himself. 

There was absolutely no way he had a crush on Jaemin. There was no way on earth he would develop a crush on Jaemin – especially not so suddenly. Dejun was on a dating ban, and he definitely couldn’t go after Jaemin who was already pining after someone else. 

Dejun could not get himself tangled in a love triangle – though was it even a triangle if neither party had the hots for him? 

There was no room to think about that! 

“It can’t be nothing,” Jaemin said, taking steps closer to Dejun, poking the man’s sides, causing Dejun to yelp and jump. 

“Don’t!” He warned. 

Jaemin smirked. “Are you ticklish?” 

“Isn’t everyone?” 

The younger’s grin only grew. 

Dejun didn’t hesitate to start running. 

And of course, Jaemin chased after him. 

The hall as large yet there wasn’t much room to easily move around with all the seats around. Dejun ran through the rows, subsequently trapping himself in a corner. Even if he tried to run, there was nothing stopping Jaemin from just climbing over the aisles of seat to reach him. 

Dejun still tried to get away, a mixture of screams and laughs leaving him as he rushed from side to side, Jaemin constantly on his tail. 

In the end, Dejun lost. 

Jaemin wrapped his arms around the older man’s waist, pushing him in towards his front. Of course, Dejun still resisted Jaemin, thrashing about only to have Jaemin force both of them to the floor, laying the older down on his chest and straddling his thighs, attacking Dejun’s sides with his hands. 

Dejun’s laugh echoed through the large hall. 

“Look at that,” Jaemin cooed, his kindergarten teacher voice sounding more like a gay coded villain at that moment. “So ticklish, thrashing around like a little baby. Come on, tell me what’s gotten you so shy.” 

Definitely a villain. 

Dejun hated the fact he found all of that hot. He needed Jaemin to get off him in that instance or else he would be embarrassed, never to look in Jaemin’s eyes again. 

“Stop! Please!” Dejun begged, writhing beneath Jaemin to no avail. Jaemin was far stronger than he looked. 

“Not until you tell me why you’re so shy? What was your inspiration, huh?” Jaemin leaned down, hot breath brushing against Dejun’s ears, his fingers still mercilessly torturing the man’s sides. 

Dejun whined. 

“Fine!” 

Jaemin didn’t stop tickling him just yet. 

“Fine!” Dejun repeated. “It’s- it- unrequited love!” 

At last, Jaemin halted. 

In the meantime, Dejun took in deep breaths in and out after being attacked so violently by the younger. 

“Unrequited love?” Jaemin questioned, wondering if he heard right. 

“Yeah,” Dejun answered, thankful yet secretly disappointed when Jaemin got off him. He rolled over, his chest rising and falling unevenly as he tried his hardest to regain his breathing after laughing and yelling so much. 

“Personal experience or... you know, did you take me as an example?” 

“Yes,” Dejun replied. 

Jaemin chuckled. “Which one?” 

“Both,” Dejun stated. Jaemin seemed surprised yet intrigued. 

“So you’ve been in this situation before? I thought you said you weren’t into this whole relationship thing.” 

Dejun didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t exactly say the song was about Jaemin because Dejun had feelings for the younger. He couldn’t say that. He couldn’t even insinuate that. “Yeah,” was all he said, hoping to change the topic soon enough. “Anyway, I know we’re both gonna be busy with exams and all that so how about we practice after those? I forgot to bring my guitar so... unless you wanna try running through it just by yourself,” he suggested. 

“I... I can do that,” Jaemin stated. “Though I had a long day and my head hurts, so we’d have to make it quick.” 

“Up to you.” 

Jaemin was about to grab his violin up when his phone started ringing. He picked that up instead, answering with a sigh. 

“Yangyang,” he said, sounding almost disappointed in his friend. He stayed quiet as he listened to his friend ramble over the phone, all in the meantime Dejun looked at him, amused by the way Jaemin’s stance completely changed. The younger looked like a mother of three waiting in line with her kids annoying her, but not enough to make her move. It was quite funny to see. “Can’t you just, I dunno, get someone else to help? It’s only photoshop, Yang, there’s a million tutorials you can watch online. No, I’m not gonna do your work for you- why do you even have to use photoshop in the first place? Not my problem. No, stop whining. Yangyang I fucking swear, I’ll get Renjun to shut you up and not in the way you’d like. No. Stop. Yangyang. Oh god, fine! I’ll be there in ten minutes.” 

With that, Jaemin ended the call. 

“You good?” Dejun asked, holding in a laugh. 

“I’m gonna make Yangyang see stars,” Jaemin grumbled. “We’ll have to cut this short.” 

“No worries,” Dejun assured. “Take care.” 

“I will.” 

“Oh, and if we don’t talk until after the exams, good luck,” Dejun said, offering the younger a reassuring smile – one which Jaemin reciprocated. 

“You too.” 

*** 

Exams went... well, they went. 

Dejun wasn’t entirely sure what else he could say about them, and quite frankly, he preferred to ignore they ever happened in the first place. That seemed to be the same sentiment held by everyone else, Jaemin included. 

The first time they met up after the hell that was their end of semester exams, Jaemin told everyone to not even mention the dreaded word or else he’d fight everyone. Nobody dared to try him, finding serious and annoyed Jaemin quite frightening to say the least. 

All in all though, everyone seemed fine. 

And finally, Jaemin and Dejun had the chance to meet up to practice. They had plenty of time to prepare and get good, though there was a sense of nerves coming from Jaemin as he flicked through the pages on his music stand. 

“Are you okay?” Dejun asked, placing a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder. The younger looked out of it. 

“Yeah, all good,” Jaemin assured, though Dejun wasn’t entirely convinced. 

“You know, we still have plenty of time,” Dejun stated. “If you mess up, it’s fine.” 

“I know, it’s just... I’ve never played a piece someone wrote for me- well, not for me, but you know what I mean.” 

“I think I do, yeah,” Dejun said. “Are you worried I’ll be disappointed.” 

The look on Jaemin’s face made it obvious. 

“Trust me, you won’t,” the older assured. “I know for a fact that you’ll leave me speechless.” 

“You-” 

Before Jaemin could argue, Dejun moved on. “Have you practiced at all or is this gonna be the first time you’ve played?” 

Jaemin frowned, annoyed he couldn’t get the last word in. However, he sighed and moved on just like Dejun. “I’ve played it a few times,” he stated. “I have a vague feel of it, though I haven’t been over the whole thing at once. I didn’t wanna disrupt my flatmates.” 

“Understandable. You know, you can always book a practice room, even if for ten minutes.” 

“Too much effort,” Jaemin grumbled. “Should we play or are we gonna talk all day?” 

“Let’s play!” Dejun exclaimed, getting up to grab his guitar. 

They took maybe a minute to get ready with everything. Jaemin grabbed his violin, but not before taking a few sips of water and clearing his throat. 

“You’re not singing,” Dejun teased, laughing lightly when Jaemin rolled his eyes at him. 

Finally, they started. 

The song began with a slow introduction on Dejun’s part, plucking the strings, unsure of the journey ahead of him. There was uncertainty – fear really – that was a part of developing feelings for someone, that worry that it will never work out, yet there was hope laced in nevertheless. It was something Dejun became painfully aware now that he was playing with Jaemin by his side; he realised just how frightening it really was to want to make yourself vulnerable to someone else, someone that had the potential to crush you with a single word, a single rejection. 

Dejun never had to worry about that until now; he never was the one to think about such things, always too preoccupied by the thoughts that he didn’t even deserve to be loved. He never had the time to develop feelings for someone else. Such was his life. 

To say Dejun was scared of love might have been the most appropriate way to put it. He had avoided it for years, at one point being so against it that he never allowed anyone to get close enough to him to ever have the chance of having feelings bloom. 

And then there was Jaemin. 

Jaemin who joined into the melody, slow and gentle, as if treading on thin ice. Jaemin who overpowered Dejun completely, taking the spotlight and stealing Dejun’s heart in the process with his swift moves, changing from note to note, deep and strong, resonating within Dejun. 

Dejun felt it all. 

He felt Jaemin’s own fear; he could feel all his apprehensions towards Jeno, all the notes of doubt that lingered and couldn’t leave him. 

What if he doesn’t like me? What if I’m not what he wants and needs? What if I’m not good enough for him? What if, at the end, all I end up with is a broken heart? 

Dejun could hear a heart crack, and he wasn’t entirely sure whose heart it was. 

The song, however, found a glimmer of hope. There was still a chance – a chance that maybe the feelings were reciprocated. There was a joy that came with this small amount of light. It made Dejun feel like everything was possible. The way Jaemin played with such conviction told him that maybe there was still a possibility that things would turn out just okay. 

Jaemin gave him hope. 

But Jaemin wasn’t playing for Dejun. Jaemin was playing for Jeno. 

And the song once more soured, the uncertainty flooding them both again. 

In the end, the hope had fizzled out, barely a flicker of what it was at its peak. 

A heavy silence hung over the two. 

“I like it,” Jaemin uttered. “Although...” 

“Although?” 

Jaemin turned around to Dejun, looking at the older with a somewhat bleak look. “It’s sad, isn’t it?” 

Dejun shrugged. Jaemin wasn’t wrong. “I know,” he stated. 

“Won’t we depress the audience?” 

The older chuckled, nodding. “Probably. But I’m not... not the best at love songs,” he admitted. “It’s not my forte by any means.” 

“And what is your forte?” 

“Depressing songs?” 

Jaemin snorted, but Dejun was honest. 

“Are you serious?” 

Dejun nodded. “Well, I mean, I can make happy songs. It’s just, love is hard to describe when you’ve never really been in love.” 

“What about the middle part then? That felt like love.” 

“Only momentarily,” Dejun pointed out. “And not love, not yet at least. Simply a crush, a moment of realisation. But it will never work out- for me at least.” 

Jaemin scowled, placing his violin down carefully. He looked over at Dejun, not thrilled by his doom and gloom attitude. He shuffled over to Dejun, kneeling down in front of him to make it easier to make eye contact since Dejun was sat on a chair. 

“Don’t say that,” the younger grumbled. “I’m sure it will work out for you eventually. Just have some faith.” 

“Thanks, but I highly doubt it,” Dejun said, hiding the way his heart skipped a beat when Jaemin placed his hand over Dejun’s knee. 

“Why? I’m sure any guy would be lucky to have you.” 

“Well, the guy I might like already likes somebody else, so there’s no point.” 

“Oh...” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t worry yourself with it,” Dejun said, putting on a warm and kind smile. “Really. I just want him to be happy, and if he’s happy with someone else, then why should I complain?” 

“Damn... you’re really a great guy.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Though it sucks,” Jaemin mused. “I mean, you’ve said you’re not into the idea of dating or anything, but the one time you are... that really sucks. I’m sorry.” 

Dejun smiled, shaking his head. “Don’t. I’m okay, I promise.” 

Jaemin nodded, dropping the subject. 

“So... do you want me to change the ending?” Dejun asked. 

“If you can, yeah,” Jaemin replied. “Who knows, maybe this will be your magnum opus once you finally manage to write a happy love song.” 

Dejun laughed. “We’ll see about that.” 

*** 

“Someone looks like they’re in mental turmoil,” Mark said, throwing his arm over Dejun’s shoulder. “What’s up dude?” 

Dejun grumbled. 

“Damn, that sounds rough, buddy,” Mark said. 

Dejun could barely pay attention during the theory lecture, and now that it was finally over, he realised just how fucked he was, barely taking any new information in. He’d have to rely on Mark or one of their classmates to borrow some notes. 

“What’s gotten you like this?” 

“It’s... I...” 

Mark nodded, consoling his friend despite not knowing what the problem was. It was genuine, albeit goofy. 

“You looked zoned out for the whole hour.” 

“I was,” Dejun admitted. 

“You feeling okay?” 

“I... don’t really know?” Dejun replied, the uncertainty thick within his voice. 

“Damn... wanna talk about it? Over some coffee?” 

Dejun smiled softly, nodding. 

*** 

“So...” Mark uttered, playing with his mug of coffee, eyes directed up at Dejun, prying the older friend to talk. “What’s all this about then?” 

Dejun took in a deep inhale, thinking over what words to use. He didn’t want to make it obvious who he was talking about to spare himself the embarrassment. Mark wasn’t good at holding secrets either, so there was an extra layer of care Dejun had to take. 

In the end, he was ready. 

“I think I like someone,” Dejun admitted, looking down at his drink as if it was the most interesting thing in the entire universe. 

“Bro...” 

Dejun frowned, looking up at the younger. “Don’t _bro_ me right now.” 

“Sorry,” Mark apologised. “But like, are you being serious? Like, a hundred and ten percent sure?” 

“I don’t know if I’m _that_ sure,” the older replied. “But I’m serious. I think I like someone.” 

Mark sat back in his chair, arms folded over his chest, one hand at his chin. “Damn... when you say like, you mean _like_ like and not like as in _damn I_ _kinda_ _wanna_ _get railed right now_?” 

“Yes,” Dejun answered. “It feels weird.” 

“I bet it does,” Mark said. “Have you actually ever liked anyone like that?” 

Dejun took a second to think. He shook his head no. There really never was anyone, apart from maybe one, but Mark didn’t have to know Dejun used to have more than just friendly feelings for him back in high school. Dejun loved Mark, but he loved him more as a friend than anything else, so it was good he never acted out on his feelings. Who knows what would have happened if he did. 

“Then this is a milestone for sure,” Mark declared. “Who is it?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Dejun replied too quickly for his own liking. 

“Oh?” 

“He likes someone else,” Dejun stated. 

“Oh...” 

“But I want him to be happy, so it’s fine,” the older resumed. “He deserves it, you know?” 

“As do you, Jun.” 

“I am happy.” 

“That expression says otherwise,” Mark stated, gesturing to Dejun’s face. “It’s all in your eyes; you’re absolutely bummed out about this.” 

Dejun shrugged. “It’s whatever. I’ll get over it soon enough.” 

“Junnie...” 

“Can I borrow your notes?” Dejun asked hastily, itching to change the topic of the conversation as quickly as possible. 

Mark sighed, disappointed but not surprised. “Yeah, sure.” 

*** 

**Na Jaemin**

I know I’m not a composer or even decent at music 

But I practiced the piece a bit more and made a few changes 

I have a shit ton of work to do so I can’t meet up tomorrow 

Sorry 

I’ll be free on the weekend though! 

But here’s a pic 

[pic1.jpeg] 

I’ll see you on Friday! 

That’s fine 

I’ll check your edits 

Take care 

You too Jun!!! 

Also 

Guess what happened!! 

What? 

Jeno asked me if I wanted to hang out 

Just us two!!! 

We’re going shopping!!! 

That’s amazing, Jaemin 

I’m happy for you <3 

Thank you! 

And you can drop the Jaemin 

We’re friends, aren’t we 

Call me nana if you want 

Will do, Nana 

Dejun looked down at his phone screen, reading over the same few messages repeatedly. 

_Jeno asked me if I wanted to hang out_

_Just us two_

That stung more than it should have. 

_Call me nana if you want_

But that probably stung the most. 

Dejun grumbled, throwing himself back on the bed, phone held above his face. He clicked at the contact setting, clearing Jaemin’s name and changing it to something simpler, something sweeter. 

**Nana**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong)  
> My [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/teniljohnyong)  
> 


	5. Kiss

“You’re playing it sad,” Jaemin mused. “Even with the changes it sounds depressing,” he added, looking over at Dejun with a level of concern. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m sorry,” Dejun apologised, gripping the neck of his guitar tightly, keeping himself grounded as Jaemin stared him down with those beautiful, doe eyes. “I’ll fix that.” 

“But are you okay?” 

Dejun nodded, putting up a smile. 

Maybe Jaemin didn’t entirely buy it, but he dropped the subject nonetheless. There was no use trying to get to the bottom of the issue when Dejun was as uncooperative as he was. Jaemin might have as well been talking to a brick wall – it would have felt the same as talking to Dejun when he decided to lock himself down. 

He really was terrible with emotions. 

That didn’t come as a surprise at that point. 

“Anyway... how was your week?” Jaemin asked, putting his instrument away before grabbing a chair, pulling it over and sitting down beside Dejun. 

“Decent, I guess. Yours?” 

Jaemin smiled, bright and warm. “I went shopping with Jeno,” he stated. 

“Right.” Dejun nodded, biting down on the inside of his cheek. “How was it?” 

“I had fun,” the younger said. “I bought a few things, so did Jeno, we went to grab something to eat. We talked and had fun,” he recounted. 

“What did you talk about?” 

“Oh, you know, the usual,” Jaemin replied. “About our lectures and hobbies and all that. He talked a lot about you guys as well, mentioned Hyuck a lot. He was supposed to join too but he had work to do.” 

“He’s always busy,” Dejun mused. “But I’m glad you had fun.” 

“Yeah.” 

For some strange reason, the silence which enveloped them felt suffocating, more so than when they were still no more than strangers. Dejun blamed himself for it, his own jealousy getting in the way of being a decent friend. He failed to even consider Jaemin was behind the awkwardness too. It was as if Jaemin had realised something, slowly connecting the dots, the weight of his realisation dawning on him. It’s as if everything became clear now, like he finally understood. 

It became hard to breathe. 

“I like your edit, by the way,” Dejun uttered before his ability to breathe became compromised. 

“Thanks.” 

“It’s very hopeful, bright and all that. I hope that’s how you feel.” 

Jaemin didn’t say anything for a minute, glancing at Dejun from the corner of his eyes. “I hope so too,” he murmured, too quiet for Dejun to catch. 

*** 

Dejun stared in front of himself blankly, his phone tight in his grasp. He kept waiting and waiting for his friends to join him for their agreed movie night out. Jeno and Jaemin were already there, laughing and chatting as they stood and waited in line to grab snacks for themselves and Dejun. They seemed to be having fun together and it honestly pained Dejun to look at them. 

He was happy for Jaemin. He was happy that the Jaemin he met a few months ago – shy and reluctant to speak to him and Jeno – was beaming, finding himself right where he wanted to be. He was happy that Jaemin was clearly happy. Dejun knew this would happen – not the sharp ache in his heart, but the fact that Jaemin and Jeno would get close, after all, he agreed to help that happen. However, that didn’t stop it from hurting. 

Dejun wished he could be in Jeno’s place instead. He yearned to be the subject of Jaemin’s affection just as Jeno was; he knew it was a stupid thing to crave, yet that didn’t stop him, even though he knew he should give up before he truly had his heart shattered into a million pieces. 

Dejun didn’t want to be like this – he never expected to even get to a point where he would feel the way he did. But something happened, and he felt a way he had never felt before. It was strange, odd, uncomfortable even, but quite magical at the same time. 

When a pair of arms wrapped around him, Dejun jumped up with fright, nearly dropping his phone to the ground. 

The devilish laugh which rang through his ears was easy to recognise. 

“Junnie! You look like such a loner,” Donghyuck stated, hugging his older friend from the back. “You good?” 

“Peachy,” Dejun replied, prying Donghyuck’s arms from him. “I’m just waiting. Jeno and Jaemin are getting snacks.” 

“Cool,” Donghyuck mused, sitting himself down next to Dejun. “Mark and Hen stopped by the toilet so they’ll be here in a minute.” 

Dejun hummed. 

“You know, I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Donghyuck resumed, surprising Dejun. 

“About what?” 

“About you,” the younger replied. 

“Me?” 

“Yes, you,” Donghyuck said. 

“What’s there to say about me?” 

“A lot, but I won’t go into everything, that would take far too long.” 

Dejun scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

“But I’ve noticed something,” the younger continued, ignoring how Dejun was scowling. “I’ve known you my whole life yet I’ve never seen you like that... minus that one time you had a crush on Mark.” 

“Donghyuck!” Dejun exclaimed, his ears turning bright red. 

The younger cackled. 

“How do you know about that?” 

“I’m not dumb, Junnie dearest,” Donghyuck sang, bumping his shoulder against Dejun’s. “I know you were going through a lot back then, with coming to terms with yourself and all. The way you looked at Mark back then... I know what that look means. And I know you’re looking at someone else that way, if not with more yearning.” 

“I-” 

“Don’t deny it,” Donghyuck interrupted. “You can’t win against me.” 

Dejun sighed, slouching his back. Donghyuck was right. Of course he was right! When wasn’t he? 

“You like Jaemin, don’t you?” 

The older sucked in his lips. 

“He likes you too, you know?” 

“Not like that,” Dejun argued. “He likes someone else.” 

“And how would you know that?” 

“Because he told me himself,” Dejun stated, his voice wavering. “He likes someone else, and that’s fine! I’ll get over it.” 

“Dejun...” 

“I’m fine.” 

“But-” 

Dejun’s saviour came in the form of Mark and Hendery, both boyfriends strolling up to Dejun and Donghyuck with bright grins. Dejun was saved. 

For now. 

*** 

“Thanks,” Jaemin said as he grabbed a few napkins. “I’m starving.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Dejun assured, pouring out some water for the both of them. “How come you didn’t eat anything yet?” 

“I was busy,” Jaemin replied, staring down the food in front of him, practically drooling at the sight. “Medicine is kicking my ass but oh well.” 

“Still, you shouldn’t skip meals.” 

“I know, and I’m not,” Jaemin pointed out, grinning at the older. 

“Yeah, thanks to me you’re not. If I didn’t text, you’d probably be going hungry for the rest of the day.” 

“I’ll have you know I have a full box of instant ramen under my bed,” Jaemin stated with more pride than what was probably appropriate. 

“That’s... impressive but kinda depressing.” 

“The life of a student, am I right?” 

Dejun chuckled. “Can’t argue with that.” 

The outing with Jamin came pretty much out of nowhere. Dejun was bored out of his mind, tired of staring at the pile of work he had to do, knowing full well he wasn’t going to do any of it until the very last minute. It was that time of year already – the point where Dejun was just tired; he didn’t care about his studies anymore, not caring if he barely passed his classes. He just couldn’t be bothered with it anymore. 

Amidst his lounging, Dejun grabbed his phone and opened up his and Jaemin’s messages without thinking. They chatted for a bit before Jaemin made it know he still hadn’t eaten anything. 

Dejun made it his mission to make sure Jaemin didn’t go hungry. 

And that’s how they met up. 

Jaemin’s stomach growled as they made their way over to the small restaurant, so Dejun was happy now that there was food placed down in front of the younger. 

Jaemin dug right in, filling his plate with fried chicken and a few side dishes, eating it all up as if he had been starved for weeks on end. 

“Good?” 

Jaemin nodded, mouth full. 

Dejun found the younger absolutely adorable. 

“Eat as much as you want, it’s on me.” 

At that, Jaemin shook his head, swallowing down on his food. “You’re not paying for everything. Not on my watch.” 

“Fine. Fifty-fifty.” 

“That’s more like it,” Jaemin said. “Now eat! You’re probably hungry too.” With that, he placed some food on Dejun’s empty plate. 

*** 

**Nana**

Entertain me 

This lecture is gonna end up killing me 

You should probably listen 

But I’m so tired 

I barely slept 

Please 

Save me from this suffering 

I’m in a lecture too, you know 

You answered me so I doubt you’re paying attention too 

...

Well 

You got me there 

I guess I’m bored too 

I already know half of this shit 

Oh to know what your lecturer is talking about 

Sounds like a dream 

Struggling? 

Very much so 

But hey! 

Just... what, 4 more years of this? 

Oh god 

I’m doomed 

Hey 

Let’s not worry about that 

Let’s focus on something less depressing 

Like... 

How are you 

Bored out of my mind 

Should have expected that answer 

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a dry texter? 

It’s been mentioned 

But I’m great at texting when I have to 

If you get what I mean 

If this is you asking to start sexting then hold your horses for a minute 

Well 

You’re stuck with dry-texter-dejun as they call me 

You should probably try texting Jeno 

He’s far better 

Or is he in the same class 

Not this unit 

Ah okay 

And I texted you, not him 

I wanna talk to you 

Not Jeno 

How sweet of you 

Now entertain me!!!!! 

How demanding 

Fine 

Wanna play some games? 

You down for a round of among us? 

Bet! 

Prepare to be obliterated 

Try me 

*** 

“You have a date?” Dejun asked, walking up to the table Jaemin was sat at. The younger was all dressed up, his hair – now back to its natural colour – was neatly styled, lazy but not enough to look unkempt. He wore a light blue shirt, a few of the top buttons left undone, a leather jacket thrown over that. His lips were tinted with a deep red, adding volume to them. 

Dejun wanted to lean down and kiss those lips. 

But he didn't. 

“Huh?” 

Dejun visibly checked Jaemin out. 

“Oh, that,” Jaemin uttered, scratching the back of his neck. “No, no date.” 

“You dress up like that on the daily then?” 

Jaemin didn’t reply. Now that Dejun looked closer, the younger looked quite down. 

Dejun sat down on the seat in front of Jaemin, tucking in and leaning over the table. 

“Is something wrong?” 

Jaemin’s lips were in a thin line, his expression practically unreadable if not for his eyes. 

Eyes which were glossed over with tears. 

“Jaemin,” Dejun said softly, reaching his hand across the table, not sure what he was doing until he cupped Jaemin’s cheek, stroking under his eye. “Did something happen?” 

“No,” the younger replied. “Nothing happened.” 

“But you’re-” 

“How about we go practice? The talent show isn’t that far away, right? We could do with some more work.” 

Dejun tried to pry, but there was no point. If Jaemin wanted to talk, he would talk. He didn’t push the younger, simply agreeing. 

*** 

The two made some detours to grab their instruments for their impromptu practice session. In that time, Jaemin seemed to calm down, smiling with sincerity when he was around Dejun. It made Dejun’s heart feel warm and bright, as if filled with sunlight. 

All hints of sadness surrounding Jaemin had vanished. Dejun wasn’t sure why, but he was glad; to him, Jaemin didn’t deserve to cry unless those tears were from joy. There just was something about the younger that made Dejun want to protect him at all costs. From the first instance he heard Jaemin play, Dejun felt that urge to protect, to keep that heart which spilled out every emotion imaginable out with a few strokes of his bow safe. 

Their walk across the campus was moderately silent, not really saying much amongst each other. Sure, they exchanged a few things here and there, mainly talking about their upcoming performance; Jaemin was actually excited about it which pleased Dejun. Granted, Jaemin was still sceptical of whether he would manage to get up on stage without throwing up of nerves, but there was an overall more optimistic air around him regarding the talent show. 

That made Dejun happy. It was exactly what he wanted for Jaemin to feel: excited. Dejun wanted Jaemin to get up on that stage and knock everyone off their feet, he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

As they neared closer to the music building, Dejun changed the course. 

“Huh?” 

“It’s a shortcut,” Dejun stated. “Trust me.” 

Jaemin shrugged. He had no reason to doubt Dejun. 

And it really was a shortcut. The path went behind the performing arts building, cutting across the small park in between the music and arts departments. It wasn’t the greatest shortcut of all time, but it did shave off about two minutes of walking so Dejun used it frequently. 

“This totally doesn’t look shady,” Jaemin mused. 

“Only for a minute,” Dejun assured. “The park is just right there,” he added, pointing forward. 

They got to the park soon enough. The old wing of the music building was in sight. They were practically there. 

Jaemin came to a sudden halt. 

Dejun only noticed when he went to ask Jaemin if he had his student ID on him. When the younger didn’t respond, he turned around to notice Jaemin staring out to the side. 

Curious, Dejun followed Jaemin’s gaze, his eyes landing on something he didn’t expect. 

Donghyuck and Jeno. 

Donghyuck and Jeno kissing. 

Dejun felt his heart sink. 

Quickly, Dejun looked over at Jaemin who was just staring. He reached out for the younger, holding onto his hand, not sure if it was to comfort Jaemin or himself in the knowledge that Jaemin’s heart was probably shattered into a billion tiny pieces at the sight. 

“Jaemin,” Dejun called softly. 

When Jaemin turned around to look at Dejun, the older expected Jaemin to be crying, or to at least look like he was hurting. 

But there was none of that. 

Jaemin just offered Dejun a smile, squeezing his hand. “Yeah, I’ve got my ID,” he said. “Let’s go.” 

Dejun wasn’t expecting that. Not at all. 

*** 

To say Dejun felt awkward would have been a severe understatement. Nothing made sense – especially Jaemin’s behaviour. The younger seemed calm and collected as he got the equipment ready, placing his sheets on the music stand, swiftly moving onto his violin case, pulling the instrument out and tuning it. 

Once he was done, Jaemin turned to Dejun, waiting for him to start the piece off. 

Dejun was taken off guard, yet he did as was expected of him. 

The beginning was a but clunky and messy, simply because Dejun couldn’t collect his thoughts at all. 

All Dejun could think of was how unfazed Jaemin seemed by the scene they both had encountered prior. Even Dejun was shocked, totally not thinking such a thing was possible. Jeno and Donghyuck? That honestly came out of nowhere to him. It made no sense, and it made less sense considering Jaemin’s response. 

It was as if he knew. 

But how could he have known when Dejun, who was friends with Jeno and Donghyuck for so long, didn’t even know. Dejun was utterly lost, his emotions being all over the place. Yet in the end it seemed as if Dejun was more hurt than Jaemin. 

Jaemin deserved to be with Jeno. Jaemin deserved everything he wanted, and though Dejun wanted Jaemin too, what was the point of being happy about this situation if Jaemin didn’t get his way 

All those thoughts skewed the way Dejun was playing. Thankfully, Jaemin was there to rescue the piece. 

The younger played just like he always had – if not with more force, the emotions laced into the sweet melody poignant and deep. 

Dejun felt the apprehension, the fear and doubt which came at the start. It was the same worry that he experienced regarding his budding feelings for Jaemin. It was the fear of rejection, of not being exactly what Jaemin wanted. 

And then the song continued, melting into a sweeter symphony, one filled with much more hope. It came from a place of familiarity; after getting close to the party, there was always this sense of confidence that your dreams could come true. Dejun never experienced that – he never believed he had a shot, but he believed that Jaemin did. 

So, he expected the younger to play the last segment with a bittersweet sense of happiness. Dejun was waiting for the pain to peak through the cheerful melody which he had crafter as per Jaemin’s request. 

But the hurt never came. 

There was nothing of those sorts, only joy. 

Jaemin’s heart was light, the airy sensation interwoven into each note he played. He was far happier than at any other point in his performance, as if his heart was playing for someone new. Jeno was no longer the subject of his yearning and affection. It was someone else – someone which Jaemin had far stronger feelings for than he ever had for Jeno. His song and heart were no longer shrouded in despair and gloom and uncertainty. 

Jaemin ended on a high note, dragging it out until it reverberated through the walls and hearts of his audience. 

Dejun gasped, his fingers messing up on the strings of his guitar. 

Silence swallowed them whole. 

“Jaemin...” the older man uttered, unsure what else to say. What was there to say? 

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Jaemin mused, a humoured look to his face. He waved his bow around, chuckling to himself. “The only reason we got close was because of two things: music and Jeno. The only reason I got close to you was because I wanted to get close to Jeno... but I- I really have to thank Jeno later on.” 

“W-what?” 

“I don’t like him,” Jaemin declared. “I don’t think I’ve liked him for a while now. I pretended I did because it was easier. I was actually relieved when he cancelled our plans today,” he continued. “Maybe a bit sad at first, but relieved. I don’t have to pretend anymore.” 

“That’s... great?” 

“Are you always this dumb or are you just acting?” Jaemin asked, taking Dejun aback. 

“What?” 

“Have you not realised it yet?” 

“Realised what?” 

Jaemin groaned, placing his instrument down before taking large strides over to Dejun. He took told of Dejun’s guitar too, putting it to the side with a sound of protest from the older. 

Dejun didn’t expect for Jaemin to cup his face, holding it firmly. “I like you,” Jaemin confessed. 

Dejun’s heart skipped a beat. 

“I like you, Dejun. Not like Jeno. I genuinely like you,” the younger continued. “I like spending time with you, even if we’re not doing anything. I like playing with you. I like how you take care of me- how you want me to shine and step out of my shell even though you don’t have to. I like you a lot.” 

“Jaemin...” 

“Dejun...” 

“I-I like you too,” Dejun stated. “I really do, but- but what about Jeno?” 

“I don’t like him,” Jaemin assured. “I haven’t for a while. I was only ever infatuated, but with you... with you, there’s actual feelings involved.” 

“I-” 

Dejun was absolutely speechless. What could he possibly say? 

“Can I kiss you?” Jaemin asked, voice hush. 

Pathetically, Dejun crooned. “Please.” 

The younger grinned, pulling Dejun’s face in closer to his until their lips were pressed together. 

It was far gentler than Dejun could have ever imagined it to be. Jaemin was sweet and tender, not going further than slotting their lips together, soft and delicate, and though a part of Dejun craved so much more, such a simple kiss satiated his hunger. 

Nobody had every kissed Dejun like that. 

Dejun gripped onto Jaemin’s shirt, pulling him in. 

The younger laughed as he stumbled forward, sitting himself on Dejun’s lap as there was nowhere else he could have gone. 

The added weight was greatly welcomed by Dejun who snaked his hands up to wrap around Jaemin’s neck, pulling him further down. Jaemin had no other option than to deepen the kiss, drawing out a pleased hum from the older. Dejun was practically melting beneath Jaemin, his lips parting to accommodate Jaemin’s tongue, kissing lazily and sweetly. 

Dejun’s heart had never been so large, so filled with affection. 

The rest of their practice was spent just like that, sat in the large auditorium, wrapped together and exchanging languid kisses until they couldn’t breathe, spit-glossed lips bruised and swollen from the intensity of their kisses. 

“I’m gonna thank Jeno later,” Dejun muttered, finding his breathing to be ragged. 

Jaemin laughed, burying his face in the crook of Dejun’s neck. 

“Not if I thank him first,” Jaemin uttered. 

“Is this a challenge?” 

“Dunno? Is it?” 

Dejun chuckled, tightening his hold around Jaemin’s waist. 

This felt nice. 

*** 

The talent show was right around the corner, but before that, the whole group decided to hang out and see a movie in what was no becoming a ritual. Even Jaemin’s friends tagged along, the three of them clearly just as done with studying as everyone else was. 

Only when they were all huddled together outside the cinema did Dejun comprehend just how many of them there were. 

Dejun has never had this many people hang out with him. It was a nice change of things. 

Jeno and Donghyuck of course were glued together, having announced their relationship the day before. Apparently only Dejun was shocked at the news – even Mark knew that Jeno had harboured a crush on Donghyuck since they were in high school, and even Hendery had an inkling that something was going on between the two. 

Jaemin figured it out a while ago, his realisation a bittersweet one. 

But that was in the past now. Everyone was happy as they were. 

“This movie better not suck ass,” Yangyang grumbled. “I don’t need to suffer anymore.” 

Renjun snorted as Yangyang hung his head low. 

“The reviews seem decent,” Dejun mused. “But it’s another superhero movie so...” 

“If it’s bad you can just sleep,” Shotaro suggested. 

“God you’re so right,” Yangyang said. “Truly the brain of this group.” 

Jaemin and Renjun both whined at that. 

Dejun laughed, following after the rest of the group to go up the escalator. They all had their tickets already so all that was needed now was the snacks. Dejun was craving a big tub of popcorn – sharing size. 

He wanted an excuse to accidently brush his hands against Jaemin’s despite having the ability to just hold it whenever he wanted. Dejun craved the most cliché of moments, it’s what he deserved after being denied of something so simple for so long. 

Jaemin was one step ahead of him, locking their hands together as they stepped onto the escalator today. 

A blush creeped up on Dejun’s face. 

That was new. 

Dejun welcomed the new. 

They haven’t had the opportunity to announce their relationship to everyone else, and though they definitely could have mentioned it when Jeno and Donghyuck let everyone know just what was going on between them, it felt wrong to steal the spotlight from them. Hence, Dejun and Jaemin’s closeness came as a surprise to everyone. 

At first, everyone brushed it off as them being close, but once Jaemin kissed Dejun in the line to buy their popcorn, there was no way of denying that they were more than friends. 

“Dude,” Mark said, his face giving off his bewilderment. “Dude.” 

Dejun groaned, spotting how Jaemin was laughing at his side. 

“You two dating?” 

“Yeah,” Jaemin replied for Dejun, guessing that the older was too embarrassed. 

“Dude... you liked Jaemin! Oh my gosh! Dude!” 

“Can you not do this right now,” Dejun pleaded. “People are staring.” 

Mark threw his arm over Dejun. “Dude! Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best bro! Brother from another mother” We’ve been together since day one, dude.” 

“I didn’t tell you because you can’t keep your mouth shut.” 

“I- you’re right,” Mark agreed, nodding regretfully. “But still! You and Jaemin? That’s so cool! Congrats!” 

“Thanks Mark,” Jaemin said. “Now if you don’t mind, could you let Jun go.” 

“Right, of course,” Mark uttered, detaching himself from Dejun. “He’s all yours.” 

Jaemin grinned. “He sure is.” 

Renjun gagged behind them. 

*** 

Dejun got his accidental hand brush. He also received actual hand holding as well as a few stolen kisses, careful to not get too obnoxious. They were in public after all. 

The movie finished and the large group filed out of the screening room. Renjun and Yangyang went their own way first, Shotaro leaving next with Mark and Hendery since they were both headed the same way. The other four stuck around for a moment longer. Dejun and Jeno made their way over to the bathroom as the rest waited around. 

Dejun was done quickly, washing his hand before walking out. 

He was about to join the other two when he heard Donghyuck and Jaemin talking. 

“You knew?” Jaemin asked. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck replied. “I wanted to tell you but... it didn’t feel right, you know? What was I supposed to say? _Oh hi, Jaemin, I know you have a crush on Jeno but he_ _kinda_ _likes me and maybe I like him too so could you back off_. That would’ve been a dick move on my part. But, I mean, I figured you liked Jun more, and since he liked you back... it’s a perfect match.” 

Jaemin chuckled. “Yeah. No hard feelings.” 

“That’s good to hear. Oh, and you know, he likes you a lot,” Donghyuck stated. “Trust me, I’ve known him all my life, I know these things. He’s also never dated properly, so give him some time.” 

“I will.” 

Dejun decided that was the right time to step out. 

“Done,” Dejun announced. “Have you two been up to anything fun?” 

“Nothing,” Jaemin replied. 

“Just talking.” 

“About me?” 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Not everything’s about you.” 

“Really? That doesn’t sound right at all.” 

“What a loser,” Donghyuck muttered. 

Dejun and Jaemin looked at each other, both exchanging soft smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong)  
> My [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/teniljohnyong)  
> 


	6. Epilogue

“Nervous?” Dejun asked as he slowly rubbed his hand up and down Jaemin’s back. The younger was tense, hugging his violin case tight to his chest. He did fine during practice, though all that was consisted of checking the acoustics of the place, seeing it everything worked right so that wasn’t as nerve-wracking as actually waiting to go up and perform. 

Jaemin tried to perform in front of an audience before – said audience consisting of Dejun, Kun and Taeyong whom Dejun convinced to come watch a few days before the actual performance, just to get Jaemin accustomed to having someone other than Dejun watching him play. He did fine back then, albeit he did have a somewhat shaky start. 

“Yeah, a bit,” Jaemin replied honestly. “The crowd is... it’s way bigger than I thought it would be. I- I don’t know if I can do this.” 

“You can,” Dejun reassured, hooking his arm around Jaemin’s waist. “I promise you, Nana. You’ll knock them all of their feet.” 

“Not if I fall to my knees first.” 

Dejun chuckled, placing a kiss to Jaemin’s nape. “Relax, you’ll be absolutely perfect. And, if it helps you, Kun and Taeyong are in the audience so you can look over at them. Just like we practiced.” 

“That... that might help,” Jaemin mused. 

“I’m sure it will.” 

The act before them were just about to finish so the pair were told to get ready. Jaemin pulled out his instrument as did Dejun, both of them checking if they were in tune. Jaemin was slow, almost zoned out. 

Dejun had to fix that. 

“Hey, Nana,” the older called. 

“Huh?” 

Dejun answered with a kiss, brief but strong enough to wake Jaemin up from his hazed state. 

“Better?” 

Jaemin exhaled, smiling softly. “Better,” he assured. “Not entirely perfect, but definitely better.” 

“Then that’s good enough.” 

“Xiao Dejun and Na Jaemin.” 

“That would be us,” Dejun said, reacting to the call for them. “Let’s show them all how it’s done.” 

Dejun went up on stage first, sitting himself down in the chair left out for him. He adjusted the position of his microphone, making sure it would catch the sounds of his acoustic guitar clearly. Whilst he was doing that, Jaemin gathered up his courage. He took in deep, steady breaths to calm himself before he finally took the steps up onto the stage. 

Dejun offered the younger a proud, reassuring smile. 

Jaemin was nearly there and Dejun couldn’t have been prouder. Jaemin didn’t let his worries get the best of him. The first step was always the hardest. 

“You got this,” Dejun uttered, quiet enough to only be heard by the younger. 

Jaemin smiled softly, moving over to his spot on the stage. The microphone was already set up for him so all that was left to do now was play. 

“Tell me when you’re ready,” Dejun said. 

The younger laughed, the nerves evident in the quiet guffaw. “I’ll never be fully ready,” he stated. “Just... start and I’ll follow.” 

Dejun nodded. 

The older gave Jaemin a minute to get adjusted to the stage, allowing for him to take a grasp of just how many people there were in the audience in front of them. It definitely was more than just Kun and Taeyong. Dejun didn’t rush Jaemin, however, once noticed Jaemin getting ready, his breathing steady, Dejun took that as a sign. 

Dejun strummed the strings of his guitar, playing a soft, slow intro which faded into the opening of the song Jaemin was waiting for. 

And finally, though with some apprehension to the way his bow met the strings, Jaemin played. 

Oh and did he play. 

Even during their last practice before the show, Jaemin didn’t play like this, so rich and flooding with emotion. The pain in the first segment of the song was utterly sorrowful, so much more than Dejun has ever felt coming from Jaemin. It was as if Jaemin had held in so much up until that point; the nerves and worry of getting up to perform awoke something within Jaemin. 

Dejun was right: Jaemin truly belonged on the stage. There was no doubt about that. 

He just hoped Jaemin realised it too. 

Dejun joined Jaemin in on the heart wrenching melody, following his lead into the brighter, idealistic and hopeful section. This was the part where their hearts took a break from all the doom and gloom, breathing in the crisp air, healing and opening up to the idea that love was possible for them. This was their realisation, their moment to hope and dream without a moment of fear. 

Jaemin wavered, a hint of despair at the loss of a love that was never meant for him. The dip was brief, barely noticeable to the average listener, but it was a clear change of heart. 

Jaemin’s heart knew what it wanted far before Jaemin knew it himself; the loss of a possibility with Jeno didn’t ache as much as it should have, simply because Jaemin’s heart found a new target of yearning as the man was still trying to cling onto something that would never work. He easily transitioned into the last part – the one where both Jaemin’s and Dejun’s hearts collided. 

That was by far the most beautiful moment. 

The violin and guitar clashed – a well calculated chaos that should have never worked, yet it worked just for them. They were the same, a few strings played with care and dedication. Even if to some they weren't supposed to ever come together, there was no real reason as to why they shouldn’t. 

Dejun and Jaemin were so far apart, practically two different worlds, but in the end their paths joined and concluded with a blaring crescendo, heartbeats faster and faster, each moment getting closer and closer until finally they softened out, mellow and content in what they had. 

The finished, the last of their notes echoing through the auditorium. 

Silence. 

And then applause. 

The first thing Jaemin did was look at Dejun only to find Dejun was already looking at him – he had been the whole time, admiring him as he shared his song with the world. 

“You did amazing,” Dejun whispered, feeling joy unlike any other at the sight of Jaemin’s genuine, blinding smile. He looked shaky, droplets of sweat at his temple. He was nervous, but he still did better than anyone – Dejun was certain of that. There was nobody else that could take Jaemin’s crown. 

At least in Dejun’s eyes, Jaemin was the true star of the show, and he had a feeling this wouldn’t be the only time Jaemin would leave not only him but an entire theatre of people breathless. 

“Thank you,” Jaemin uttered. “Really, thank you.” 

“My pleasure.” 

*** 

To nobody’s surprise, Jaemin and Dejun took the first prize. Jaemin was stunned when his name and Dejun’s were called as the winners, and even as he made his way with the older by his side to receive their award, he couldn’t believe it. 

Jaemin couldn’t believe he had actually performed, it only really hit him once the whole thing was over and he, Dejun and their group of friends went out to grab a celebratory meal together. He just uttered a simple _I performed_ with utter shock and even doubt to those words. It didn’t sound real to him. Not at all. 

Donghyuck showed him just how real it was by playing the video he recorded on his phone. Jaemin was up there with Dejun, playing their song. 

The video didn’t fully capture everything, but that was the case with all live performances; you simply had to be there to witness it all. Nothing could ever compare. 

When everyone parted ways, Jaemin and Dejun stuck around for a bit longer, using that time together as an impromptu date. 

“So, how are you feeling now that everything has set in?” Dejun asked. 

“I’m... good,” Jaemin replied. “Still kind shocked I actually performed in front of an audience.” 

“It feels great, doesn’t it?” 

Jaemin smiled, nodding. “Yeah, it does. I never thought I’d get to do that.” 

“But you did, and that’s what matters.” 

“Thanks- for encouraging me to do it,” the younger said. “I wouldn’t have done it without your help.” 

“All you needed was a little push,” Dejun said. “But I’m glad I was the one that did the pushing. Getting to see you perform like that... well, I'm proud. Talent like yours shouldn’t be kept hidden.” 

“Maybe you’re right,” Jaemin mused. “Maybe I should do something with this. I don’t know what my parents would think about this though.” 

“Didn’t they give you a choice?” 

The younger hummed. 

“Do whatever you feel is best,” Dejun resumed. “And whatever you do, I’ll be there beside you, supporting you to the best of my abilities.” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

The pair joined hands across the table, enjoying the ambiance of the restaurant. The swayed along to the jazzy music playing from the speakers, admiring each other under the warm, dim lights illuminating the place. 

But they couldn’t have stayed like that for ever, they had to leave in the end. 

“You wanna come over to my place?” Jaemin asked, voice rather suggestive. 

Dejun chuckled. “Why? Do you have plans? Any ulterior motives?” 

“Me? Ulterior motives? Never.” 

Dejun wasn’t buying that. 

“Okay, maybe I have a few ideas,” Jaemin declared. 

“I’m curious,” Dejun uttered, leaning forward. 

“I bet you are.” 

“Mind sharing what plans you have for us?” 

Jaemin pursed his lips, feigning thought. “Hmm... no,” he replied. “You’ll have to come and check it out for yourself.” 

“Well, I _am_ curious so...” 

“So?” 

Dejun smirked. “Your place it is.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was never meant to be a chaptered fic if I'm being honest. This was just supposed to be a oneshot but it just made sense to separate certain segments so yeah... have xiaomin, a ship that nobody probably ever thought of. I kind of had the idea of these two since I wrote my xiaodery twitter au where jaemin used to have a crush on dejun. Who would have thought it would lead to this.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for making it this far! Let me know what you thought of this fic. Love y'all!
> 
> My [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teniljohnyong)  
> My [ CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/teniljohnyong)  
> 


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